#mexico

Oil Pipeline from Canada to Mexico. Democrats tell the Republicans they want to build a highway from the Canadian border in North Dakota to Mexican border in Texas. Republicans get angry telling them the only reason they want to build the highway is so they can use it as an excuse not to build a pipeline. Democrats say they have enough votes to push it down the Repubs throat. The Texas Senator says at least let us save some of our honor. Allow us to name the highway after a great Texan so that w…

Mexico Olympic Team Joke Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team? Their best swimmers are all in American waters.

A joke my friends love to hear from me. I hope you enjoy it as well. A white guy, a black guy, and a Mexican are walking down a beach together and stumble across a magical genie lamp. They rub it and genie comes out and tells them that each of them have one wish. So the Mexican guys say I want all the Mexicans in America to be back in Mexico and happy and rich. So POOF all the Mexicans are gone in Mexico happy and rich. The black guy than says I want all the black people to be back in Africa and…

Seasonal joke I wrote (in Spanish) I'm a native English speaker, and I wrote this joke while on vacation in Mexico at Christmas time: I have no idea how to do accents - My Spanish is pretty much just spoken... Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre? Feliz gravidad! (Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say? Happy Gravity!)

Mexico replaced America as the world's fattest country because we sent them all home.

Rocco - Boondock Saints Theres a mexican, a black guy and a white guy.. a geenie agrees to grant them each one wish.. the mexican asks for all of his people to be happy and in mexico. so POOF.. the wish is granted. the black guy asks for all of his people to be happy and back in africa. POOF.. the wish is granted. the geenie finally goes up to the white guy and says, ""what will your wish be?"" the white guy says,""you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are out of the country?""…

A black guy, a mexican guy, and a white guy... are walking along the beach when one of them kicks a magic lamp and a genie pops out. ""I will grant each of you one wish"", says the genie. The black guy says, "" I wish all my african american brothers were back home in africa and living happily."" ""It is done"", says the genie. The mexican says, ""I wish for all my mexican american brothers to be back in mexico and living happily."" ""It is done"", says the genie. The white guy asks, ""So all th…

Not sure the origin of this but I heard it recently So there's a black guy a Mexican guy and a bigot sitting on a park bench, the black guy finds a genie bottle, rubs it and genie comes out and says ""thank you so much for freeing me! Ill give you each any wish you want!"" The black guy says ""I want me and my African brothers all to be in peace back in Africa."" So he disappears and lives in peace in Africa. The Mexican says ""I want all my fellow Mexicans to live in peace in Mexico"" so he dis…

A Chinese, A Mexican, A black guy and a White guy.. are standing by the edge of a cliff. The Chinese guy says,"" This is for all my peopre back in China."" and he jumps off the cliff. The Mexican guy says,"" This is for all my amigos back in Mexico."" and jumps off the cliff. Then, the black guy says,"" This is for all my brothas back in brooklyn."" and pushes the white guy off the cliff.

A few of my favorite Mexican racist jokes What do you call a bunch of white people pushing a car up a hill? Dead battery What do you call a bunch of black people pushing a car up a hill? Flat tire. What do you call a bunch of Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand theft auto. --- What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mudslide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Prison break --- …

a young girl had twins a young girl from America had identical twins when she was just 14 years old. she decided to sensible thing was to put them up for adoption because she knew she wouldn't be able to care for them years later after she had married and started a new family her and her husband decided they would look for her lost children. They searched through the records and found that one child was now living in Mexico. he had been named Juan. The other was living in Egypt and had been call…

Sinko De Mayo It's a little known fact that in the early 1900s, the Mexican people had an absolute fascination with English mayonnaise Unfortunately, it was very hard to come by in those days. One day, an enterprising businessman collected money from people all over the Mexico to buy one huge shipment of mayonnaise. He went to England, bought the mayonnaise, but discovered that only one ship was large enough to accommodate the quantity of mayonnaise he was bringing home to Mexico. Unfortunately,…

Long Lost Twins There's this story on CNN running about these two long lost twins that found each other on Google! Did ya hear about it? The one guy down in Mexico, I think, was doing that family tree thing and found out that he had a twin, Ehmal, was taken as a baby with his mother back to the middle east! And these two found each other! Well the reporter on the CNN kept trying to run the story but for some reason Ehmal was like this anti-computer guy or something cuz he couldn't get a decent p…

A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying ""Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"" His mate replies ""Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet""

St. Peter There was a catholic church in Mexico that wasn't doing to well. The Priest wrote a letter to the vatican saying that they needed help to get there attendance up. The vatican responded saying ""Send one of your nuns to pick up a relic of our religion."" The very next day the priest sent a nun to pick up the relic. When the nun got to the vatican they gave her a small chest with the beard of St. Peter. On her way back curiosity got the best of the nun and she oped the chest to see what …

So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee jumping tower in Mexico. And of course all the construction and publicity has garnered a crowd. Well the entrepreneur, seeing an opportunity to wow the crowd, volunteers to be the first person to jump. So he is strapped in and over the edge he goes, and the crowd goes wild. But when his crew goes to retrieve him after his jump, he is all beaten and bloodied. They ask if he hit the ground or something. He says ""Well... we should probably shorten the ro…

The Titanic and mayonnaise What a lot of people don't know about the Titanic was that it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise to Mexico. In fact, the Mexican people were overjoyed to be receiving this fine delicacy. Sadly, as we all know, the Titanic tragically sank, sending its many tons of mayonnaise to the bottom of the ocean. The Mexican people were saddened by this event, and dedicated an annual event to the remembrance of the mayonnaise We call it Cinco de Mayo

The most reliable bridge builders in all of Mexico. Spic and Span

A jew and a mexican are talking... The jew says, ""lemme ask you something, are theres jews in mexico?"" The mexican replies ""oh yes my friend, plenty of jews...apple jews, orange jews, and tomato jews.""

An ethnically diverse group of people are doing something... An African-American, a Mexican-American, Jewish-American, and a white man are walking along the beach in Florida. One of them stumbles over a lamp and as he picks it up, a genie appears. The genie thanks them from freeing him from the lamp and offers them each a wish. The African-American says, ""My native land has suffered from all the people stolen away by slavery. I wish for all my people to be returned to Africa to start a new age …

a native, canadian, and a mexican walk into a bar.. and they all go up to the bar and the bartender pours them a shot of tequila. the mexican drinks the shot of tequila, then throws the bottle on the ground. the bartender says, ""why did you do that?"" and the mexican says, ""we have so much tequila in mexico, i never have to drink from the same bottle twice."" the native drinks the shot of tequila, then throws the shot glass on the ground. the bartender says, ""why did you do that?"" and the na…

What did the army of starving cannibals say when they walked into an abortion clinic in mexico? feed us fetus fajitas! I hope that joke was shitty enough to make you laugh. Inspired from this post in no context http://www.reddit.com/r/nocontext/comments/10y470/feed_us_fetus_fajitas/

3 brewery presidents walk into a bar... 3 brewery presidents walk into a bar. One from Corona, Coors and Guinness. The president from Corona says to the bartender, ""Give me a Corona, the best Mexico has to offer"" and the bartender hands him one. Next, the Coors president orders a Coors saying ""Hand me the only beer in the world made with water fresh from the Colorado Rockies."" Then the Guinness president walks up to the bar and orders a Coca Cola. The bartender, a bit taken aback, hands him …

Just finishing up my taxes and am now a little worried about my tax software. It just recommended I slip across the border into Mexico.

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool? A broad abroad on a board aboard.