#mexico

Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with illegal immigrants crossing their southern border... I guess they became Americans after all.

Topical Jokes for 1/6 A report shows that North Korea has 6,000 cyber attack specialists. In fairness, North Korea's definition of ""cyber attack specialist"" is anyone who's ever watched ""The Matrix."" ...these cyber attack specialists can access any computer on the planet, and leave the message ""Please. Help me get out of North Korea."" In Mexico, a vicious drug cartel forced some members to eat human hearts. Ex-members of the cartel who were forced to eat hearts have formed a class action, …

Diggin a hole to China If a bystander watches a person digging a hole in the U.S., they always jokingly ask the digger ""If they are digging a hole to China"". I wonder if a bystander is watching a person digging a hole in Mexico, if they jokingly ask the digger ""If they are digging a hole to the U.S.""

What do you call a fight in Mexico? A Juan on Juan.

Mexico's dump. Once upon a time, a country in North America known as Mexico got independence from its motherland, Spain. To celebrate, it had a big feast, but took the biggest shit known. The United States took the shit from Mexico and set it up as a state. The shit is now known as California.

Mexican Olympics Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

What do you call Squidward's Protest Group in Mexico? Counter-Esp*i*on*a*ge

In honor of Ferguson: A black man, a white man, and a Mexican were walking along a beach in the US. After a while, they stumble upon a genie's lamp. They pick it up, rub it, and out pops a genie, as one would expect. The genie thanks them for freeing him, and offers them one wish each. So the Mexican says, ""This country is racist and petty. My people and I are continuously downtrodden and endure great hardships. I wish for all Mexicans to go back to Mexico, and never return to this prejudiced l…

What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature? Tequila Mockingbird

The Machine Gun Three American Navy Seals are sent to Mexico to train Mexican soldiers. On the first day of training, one of the Seals orders five of the Mexican soldiers to bring the machine gun. The Mexican soldiers disappear for about 30 minutes and when they return, there is sixth man. The Seals ask, ""What took you so long and who is this?"" One Mexican soldiers points to the sixth man and responds, ""It took us a long time to find Pepe."" Angry, the Seal asks, ""And why did you go look for…

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ? Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

Have you heard about the new emo-punk band taking Mexico by storm? They're called *Hispanic! At the Disco*.

This joke was told to me by a drunk old Mexican man - Warning, it's pretty racist So one day God is surveying all he hath created from up on high and decides to gaze upon Mexico. He selects a Mexican man at random who has lived his entire life in destitute poverty, has no education or healthcare, works long hours every day to barely feed his family, and who has to watch as his country crumbles around him to drug violence and government corruption. God thinks to himself, I have made this Mexican'…

How does Amazon Mexico pay its employees? In Jeff Pesos.

An American, an Irishman and a Mexican walk into a... boat The boat's sinking. They need to get rid of some things. The Irishman says, ""I'll throw my beer into the ocean... We got plenty of that in Ireland!"" The Mexican says, ""I'll throw out my tacos. We got plenty of those in Mexico."" The American says' ""I'll throw out the Mexican, we got plenty of those in America!""

A white man a black man and a Mexican man A white man a Mexican and a black man are walking down a bench abd they stumble upon a lamp they grab it and rub it and a genie pops out the genie says ""For freeing me from a thousand years of imprisonment I shall great each of you one wish"". The genie walks up to the black man and says ""What's you're one wish?"" The black man says ""I wish all of my African brothers and sisters in America to be safe happy and free in Africa!"" Poof,all the blacks in …

Three guys are kidnapped and stuffed in a van blindfolded, without knowing where they are. The van has an open window, and so, one of the guys moves closer to the window and says :""Hey guys, I think we are in Italy, I smell pizza"". The second guy moves closer to the window and says :""No man, we are in Mexico, I can smell the tacos"". The third guy goes like :""We are in New York, you morons"". The other two men ask : ""How do you know that for sure?"" The third guy answers : ""I put my hand o…

My friend from Mexico got bit by a mosquito.. he could not figure out why his American friend was not receiving bites as well. I told him the bugs were hungry for Mexican tonight.

When a Dutch reporter asked Arjen Robben what he was going to do after the world cup, he told him; I'm going diving in Mexico.

Pedro was riding his donkey back into town one day... When out from behind a rock jumps Black Pete, the meanest bandito in all of Mexico. Black Pete pulls out his gun and says 'Hey Pedro, if you want to live to see another day, then you better eat your sombrero'. Poor Pedro has no choice but to eat his hat, and Black Pete just stands there laughing and laughing. Suddenly, Pedro grabs the gun off Black Pete and says 'Now my friend it is you who must eat his sombrero if he wants to live to see ano…

A plane ride. A Canadian, an Irishman, and a Mexican are on a plane. So they're flying over Mexico and the Mexican dropped a coin because he loves his country. Then, they fly over Ireland and the Irishman dropped a coin because he loves his country. But when they flew over Canada the Canadian dropped a bomb because he hates his country. The next day the Mexican was walking down the street and saw a little boy crying so he asked why. The little boy said ""A coin fell down and killed my Mom!"". Th…

When Russians visit Mexico What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico? Trotsky's Revenge

What do you call a senior citizen from Mexico? A senor citizen.

How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup? Literally all gardening stops

Mexican, American, Polish and a Russian dog... Four dogs -- Mexican, American, Polish, Russian -- are discussing their lives. The Mexican dog says, ""the servants used to leave meat out for me, but now I have to bark for it."" The American dog says, ""you have servants in Mexico?"" The Polish dog says, ""they feed you meat?"" The Russian dog says, ""they let you bark?""