#italy

If you're on the exercise bike in front of mine, I'm sorry, but we are spies, and I am frantically chasing you through the streets of Italy.

u kno how we have burger king do u think in italy they have spaghetti king

I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014

If you move to a different country at least TRY to fit in with the culture. Like when I lived in Italy & changed my name to Mario Spaghetti

If you ever travel to Italy, you have to try their famous food called "Pasta," which I believe is Italian for "Pizza."

[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza

An arab guy walks into a bra store owned by a Jewish guy on a sunday afternoon... The arab guy finds a bra he likes and asks for the price. Jewish guy being the business man that he is says ""This is a great bra it's really starting to get polular. I can sell you each for 50 bucks."" The arab guy nods and says ""sure I'll buy 100."" The next sunday the arab guy comes back to bra shop and looks around and finds another bra he likes. The Jewish guy smiles and thinks he's gonna try to mark up the p…

Bring me back a nice Italian girl A man is dropping off his wife, who's being sent on a business trip to Italy, at the airport. Before saying his goodbyes, he quips ""Now be sure to bring me back a nice Italian girl."" A week later, he's back at the airport to pick her up. After kissing her hello, he says ""So did you get me that nice Italian girl?"" to which the wife responds ""Well I did my best, but we're going to have to wait 9 months to find out if it's a girl.""

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. ""But how will I let you know the baby is born?"" she asked. He replied, ""Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses."" Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six mo…

From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…

Just write spaghetti For two years a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money to go to Italy and secretly have the child. He said, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18, and also pay for college. She ......agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it di…

Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Well, can't fit that much shit in a sneaker!

If WW1 was a bar fight...... If World War One was a bar Fight... Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria'…

Y'all know Bill, right? Bill was bragging to his boss a day ago ""You know, I know a lot of pals. A *lot*. Pick any guy, famous or not, and I probably know him."" To confront this boring boasting, his boss calls his bluff. ""Ok Bill, how about Tom Hanks?"" ""No worry boss,"" says Bill, ""Tom is an old pal of my own, I will show you"" So Bill and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Hanks's door, and Tom Hanks shouts, ""Bill! What's going on? You must sit down with us, drink a pint!"" A…

In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :(

France and Italy declare war... France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose.

A man named Bob had a good friend named Joe. Bob noticed that Joe seemed to know everybody. They worked together, and would often get drinks together, go to events together; no matter where they went Joe was always busy saying hi and shaking hands with everybody. Bob would often ask, 'how do you know that guy?' and Joe would say, 'oh, I know everybody.' Bob got pretty used to Joe saying that, and usually left it alone. One day they went to another city for a work conference, and Joe was at it ag…

France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders Italy changes sides Both lose

Why does time go by so fast in Italy? Because every time you turn around you see a dago by.

The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs... He is finishing his treatise on comparative religions, when Dopey raises his hand to ask a question. ""Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"" ""No, Dopey,"" responds the Pontiff, ""there are not."" ""Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?"" Dopey asked. ""No, Dopey,"" chuckles the Pope, ""there are no dwarf nuns in Italy."" ""Mr. Pope,"" Dopey asked pleadingly, ""are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"" ""No, Dopey,"" the …

Two lion cubs were born. They were brothers. While they will still very young, one lion was sent to a zoo in Australia and one was sent to a zoo in Italy. Years later, the brothers meet again and discuss their lives. The Australian brother says: ""These guys've been good to me, mate. I've been really happy and I'm the star attraction of my zoo. I don't think any lion has it better than me!"" The Italian brother says: ""That's-a nothing! I get every single-a thing that-a you could ask for! Meat, …

What is worse than the earthquake in Italy? The Holocaust.

Two friends are talking , ""So what are you doing for summer vacation?"" The other one replies "" I want to go to Italy again , like last year""--- ""Wow you went to Italy last year?""----------- "" No, but I did want to go ""

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport. ""Thank you, honey"", she says. ""What would you like me to bring back for you?"" He laughs and says, ""An Italian girl!"" When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks, ""So, honey, how was the trip?"" ""Very good,"" she replies. ""And what happened to my present?"" ""Which present?"" she asks. ""The one I asked for- an Italian girl!"" ""Oh, that,"" she says. ""Well, I did what I could. No…

The Schitt Family Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, ""You don't know Jack Schitt."" Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Agai…