#europe

Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl

me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice

ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.

When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.

I hate airplanes and flying. It's like someone throwing a can full of people over the ocean and hoping someone in Europe will catch it.

guy: my dog just died girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog

ME: [sitting on iphone] europe. europe. EUROPE. europe [5 hrs later] ME: ok fine maybe ur right WIFE: what did you think airplane mode meant

Only 1490's kids will remember this *sails from Europe and destroys an indigenous population*

"Yo mama is so fat, when she was cremated all the flights in Europe got cancelled."-my 10 year old cousin. right now.

Funny, those Baby Einstein videos don't mention anything about how he fled Baby Europe to escape the Baby Nazis.

Europe. Made in Germany.

GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win

If Europe uses euros shouldn't Africa use Afros?

In Europe, her milkshake brings all the boys to the meter.

Life in 1914-1945 Europe must have been hard. All those geopolitical events and no TV shows to compare them to

For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry.

when my kids lose a tooth i'm gonna put euros under their pillow they'll cry but i'll be all uh oh looks like daddy has to take us to europe

#BadTimeTravelAdvice Plague, shmlague. 13th century Europe is where it's at!

Ran a bath, checked Twitter, flooded Europe.

"You Americans are so uptight!" dude from Europe who just kissed your girlfriend on the mouth

9 Year Old: Where do babies come from? Me: (pause) Europe.

My cat jumped off me unexpectedly, so I get it, Europe. I get it.

Ill have a pepsi please Four CEO's meet up at a bar. Its the CEO of Budweiser, CEO of Heineken, CEO of Carlsberg and CEO of Guinness. The CEO from Budweiser orders a Bud and says ""the best selling beer in america"" and enjoys a sip. The CEO of Heineken orders him a Heineken, says ""the best selling beer in Europe"" and takes a sip. The CEO of Carlsberg takes a bottle of Carlsberg, takes a sip and say ""probably the best beer in the world"". The CEO of Guinness askes the bartender if he can have…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City... A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan…

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. ""But how will I let you know the baby is born?"" she asked. He replied, ""Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses."" Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six mo…