#europe

A lonely Yank is vacationing in Europe.. ...and is just about to finish out his trip in Great Britain, which saddens him, because he came looking for romance, but has had zero luck. He's out at the pub one evening, where he spies a pair of women drinking alone. They're a wee bit on the larger side, so he heads over to chat them up, thinking that his hefty American physique won't be as much of a hinderance as it was on the Continent. "Hello ladies," he said, "if you don't mind me asking: are yo…

I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa. Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t kn…

A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the …

Finally a smart blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank…

I'm American, and I'm sick of hearing that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world...

After the invention of time travel, many historic figures were brought to the present to experience modern culture with varying degrees of success. George Washington nearly had a heart-attack because of the current state of the two party system, Napoleon tried to conquer Europe once more, and Alfred Einstein became an avid redditer, amongst many other historic events. But out of all the crazy things happening because of time travel, the most unusual thing just happened to be the ancient Romans…

What do they call Bigfoot in Europe? Bigmeter.

The geography of a woman as she ages: (from a friend) Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a …

Three boys and a girl three boys pursue a girl at the same time, the girl says: you travel the world and i will choose again. the first boy went to europe, the second boy went to america, the third boy walked around the girl and said: you are my world! the girl was very moved, and with tears she chose the richest among them.

What is a Karen called in Europe? An American.

Alerts to Threats in Europe The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon

Before going to Europe on business a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5

How they call Miley Cyrus in europe? Kilometer Cyrus

What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe? Kilometer Cyrus

I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and says she's going to Europe for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5

A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane. The whole event was pretty terrible.

My absolute favorite: A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5

Cat A man who lived at home with his grand ma and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to tell him of any emergencies.

What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland? Europe next.

Mother Superior and a young nun are driving across Europe... The young nun is driving. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly

Best Women in Europe An Englishman

A Blonde walks into a bank A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5

The European Vacation Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe