#spain

One day she says "Treat me like a princess," the next she's pissed that I married her off in exchange for an alliance with Spain. Women...

'Escalator' is what He-Man's enemy is called in Spain.

I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro...

[Spain, 1578] "I'm not a witch!" But all the cats? "My pets!" The broom? "For cleaning!" The cauldron of boiling children? "Ok I'm a witch."

Her: You're a pathological liar! Me: ...and the King of Spain.

Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain. Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too. And maybe the me: dude, that's my mom's cassero- C: Spain.

I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.

[lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain

This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.

[dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain

Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)

John Cleese talks about the terror threat levels of nations The English are concerned about the recent increase in terrorist activities, and have therefore raised their security level from ""miffed"" to ""peeved."" If the threats continue to grow, the security levels may be raised to ""irritated"" or even ""a bit cross."" (The English have not seen ""a bit cross"" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out.) Terrorists have been recategorized from ""tiresome"" to ""a bloody nuisan…

Some years ago... ...a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; ""You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built"". The following year the Spaniard visited the …

A man falls over and lands on a globe. He heads to the doctors. The doctor asks what's wrong. ""I've got this spain in my arsehole.""

A women has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named Amal. The other one goes to a family in Spain, and is named Juan. Years later, Juan send a picture of himself to his biological mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ""But honey, they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.""

A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain.. She can't speak Spanish. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt & show her thighs to enable the seller understand her... This went on for sometime. One day, she wanted to buy banana, so she took her husband to the shop.. Because her husband speaks Spanish very well.

The geography of men and women. The geography of a woman: Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman i…

The geography of women.. Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glor…

Bullfighting novice A tourist goes to Spain wanting to see some bullfights. After attending a full day of it, he fells quite hungry and goes to a little restaurant just by the bullfighting stadium. The special of the day are the meatballs, which he orders without much enthusiasm. Just some meatballs in a small restaurant, after all. To his surprise, the dish is juicy and succulent. Wow, the tourist never thought Spanish cuisine could be so good. He goes back the next day after watching another r…

Spain now have the messiest prisons in the world. No messing.

A British man, a French man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country. They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed. The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests a bottle of tequila and a pillow strapped to his back. They let him drink the tequila and strap the pillow to his back …

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer is dead. Reports show he was flying over Barcelona today, when the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane

What do you call an elderly person from Spain? Senor citizen.

They say that there are rising levels of LGBT population in Spain... There's not a day goes by that a Deigo's Bi

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal"". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him ""Juan"". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: ""They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.""