#spain

Three sportsmen from England , Spain and Canada decide to play a game. They put an apple in each other's head and try to decide who's the best archer amongst them. The Englishman starts by putting an apple into Spanishman's head. Before he aims , the englishman shouts: ""I'm Robin Hood"" and then succeeds cutting the apple in half. Now it's Spanishman's turn to aim the apple on Canadian's head. As he is about to throw the arrow he says: ""I'm Guglielmo Tell"". He succeeds too. The Canadian's tur…

A man visits spain... On a vacation in Spain, a guy goes to a bullfight. After a long fight, the bull finally collapses and the matador is victorious. Afterwards he's looking for somewhere to eat and he comes across a restaurant near the bullring. He goes in and takes a seat. He can't understand anything on the menu, so he just orders the special of the day. The waiter brings out a bowl of broth in which float two large balls. ""What are these?"" asks the guy. The waiter explains it's the balls …

Guess what Spain is Chicken anus

Best Jokes - Funniest Jokes 50 Jokes Jokes 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A yo…

Twins!!!!!!!!!!! A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

The company I worked for was bought out by a billionaire from Spain... We didn't expect the Spanish Acquisition.

TOP 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME ;) 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A young blonde woma…

How do you ask for a cigarette in spain? Tapas a snout!

The Japanese soccer team visits an orphanage in Spain. ""It's so sad to see the hopeless looks on their faces"", said Rico, age 6.

Jokes for the day!! 1. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' 2. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One …

How long is a meter in Spain? A Spanard

Topical Jokes This week, the Price is Right gave away a treadmill to a contestant with no feet. And to make matters worse, the next contestant was blind -- and he won a pair of prosthetic feet. In Florida, a woman being held at knifepoint was rescued when she texted Pizza Hut to call 911. The woman had been in a similar situation previously, when her house caught on fire -- and she called Wendy's. After the woman was set free, she celebrated -- by ordering a pizza from Papa John's. In Indiana, a…

I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain.

True meaning behind Cinco de Mayo It was the year 1813, and the Mexicans nationals were constantly fighting of the spanards in an attempt to win their independence from Spain. One cloudy night on the 5th of may, twelve mexican men dressed in historical Aztec Leppard armour snuck onto a Spanish armada ship which held a large quantity of mayonnaise and set the ship a blaze. As the ship burned and sunk into the gulf, the entire population of the small harbor town of Cacahuamilpa all yelled ""Cinco …

Three men go to Spain after hearing about a great restaurant with an amazing speciality Upon arriving to said restaurant they sit down and order the special. After waiting half an hour a waiter walks out holding two big juicy balls (quite literally) on a platter. Curious the three men ask him what they are being served. The waiter answers ""You see senor, the bull arena is right next door so we take advantage."" The three men taste the balls and it turns out to be the most delicious thing in the…

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal he responds ""they're twins if you've seen juan you've seen amal"" (Saw this on tumblr. Credit user bladetheroosterteethfanguy)

Geography of a woman Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open. Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30-35, she is like India or Sp…

Mexico's dump. Once upon a time, a country in North America known as Mexico got independence from its motherland, Spain. To celebrate, it had a big feast, but took the biggest shit known. The United States took the shit from Mexico and set it up as a state. The shit is now known as California.

Best 50 funniest jokes ever... 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A young blonde w…

A favorite of mine - was reminded of this by the bull in the bull-fight jumping into the crowd... So Eddie goes to Spain as a tourist for his vacation, with grand plans of seeing the bull-fights, going to the Alhambra, and seeing some of the famous architecture. On one of his first days in Barcelona, he goes to El Plaza De Toros, to see a bullfight. He is swept up in the obscene madness of the crowd and has a fantastic time. He's buzzing so much from the fight he's seen that he decides to have d…

A girl calls a psychic saying: *""I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?""* Psychic: *""That you gonna pee on France""* -------- ^Francais, ^je ^vous ^aime ^Edit: ^Qrammar

If you are from Spain... You are caught between a rock and a Bard place. Edit: Rock= Gibraltar Bard place = England (Shakespeare=bard)

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption... One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Ahmal"". The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan"". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes that she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds ""They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.""

Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane (Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.'