#canada

The Canadian election consists of two men apologizing till one concedes, the winner is then elected king of Canada. Or something like that.

In Canada alcoholics go to EhEh meetings.

Can America keep it down? Canada needs to work on Monday.

Come on Canada, first Celine, then Nickelback, NOW Bieber!? Are you TRYING to provoke a war?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: *punches guy* Take that villain CAPTAIN BRITAIN: *punches guy* Take that guvnor CAPTAIN CANADA: *punches guy* I am so sorry

100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this.

Wife just found out my ring tone for her is "ding dong the witch is dead" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO

TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall.

The ironic thing about Americans making fun of Canada is Iowa.

"Apology not accepted" - what to say if you want to fight in Canada

Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey.

What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?

Americans think of Canada as a United States cover band.

I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?

My neighbor seriously just asked me, "Does Canada have 4th of July?" I said "No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move.

If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?

I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S.

I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese

10 years ago today, Canada received its first indoor toilet.

FUN FACT: Canada was once called Moosebekistan. You don't know. Prove me wrong.

In Canada, a drive by shooting is just a guy using finger guns while winking at a chick he has no chance with.

In Canada, we don't count by Mississippi's, we count by Saskatchewan's.

I'm going to complain about the cold until a Canadian gets mad enough to say something rude, like 'I'm sorry but it's colder in Canada."

UK: Hey u ok USA: What UK: I saw what happened USA: Im fine, nothing happened Canada: Hey I know what I said before but you can't stay over

It's all fun and games until Canada is in charge of the fun and games.