#canada

Back when Canada was just becoming a nation... the people were unsure of what to name their great northern nation. After many hours of heated dispute, they went to one of their wisest elders. Upon hearing their quandary, he said to them ""bring me a bowl of chits of every letter."" Confused as to what the elder would possibly need the chits for, they obeyed anyway, as he was the wisest of all the land. When they returned he told them ""I will reach into the bowl of chits, and pull a letter. Each…

Canada is not a vast empty woodland. Our monetary system proves our civility. 5 beavers is worth a caribou 4 caribous are worth a loon And 2 loons are worth a polar bear.

Hitch Hiking An attractive Canadian blonde was hitch hiking. A trucker pulled over and offered her a ride. When the blonde got in the cab, she saw all the CB equipment that the driver had installed. She asked the driver, ""What's that?"" The driver explained that it was CB equipment and with it, he could contact anyone in the world. The hiker exclaimed, ""Anybody in the world!!?? You mean, you could reach my Mother in Canada with that equipment??"" The driver said that she could and the blonde r…

Two Canadians Are in Hell Two Canadians are in hell, wearing winter coats and seem pretty cheerful. The devil says to them ""Why are you wearing such heavy coats?"" They say ""Oh, it's a nice day in Canada!"" So the devil cranks the heat up. The Canadians are now in shorts, tee shirts and playing baseball. The devil says ""Why are you having fun?"" They say: ""Oh it's a wonderful day in Canada!"" The devil cranks the heat up as far as he can. The Canadians are now in just boxers and laughing. Th…

When Canada became independent, a committee was formed to find a name for the new country. The three men that were a part of the committee disagreed on all names brought up so far. Finally, they all decided to just say one letter that they could use to add together to make a name they all agreed on. The first guy said ""C, eh?"" The second guys went ""N, eh?"" The last guy goes ""D, eh?"" And that's how we got the name Canada.

It sure is hot down here! The Johnsons from Canada decide to head to Florida, staying at the same hotel they honeymooned at for their 20th anniversary. However, due to their last minute decision, both have too take separate flights. When the husband arrives, he immediately emails his wife (Joanne) but in his haste he mistypes her email address. Meanwhile, somewhere in San Antonio, Joan Johnson is returning home from her husband's funeral, he was a pastor who had died suddenly from a heart attack…

No matter who wins the election they are going to have a build a wall on the southern border of Canada.

Three men were married to girls from different parts of the world. The first man married a girl from Sweden. He told her that she must do the housework. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see the house clean. The second man married a girl from Thailand. He told her that she must do the housework and have his dinner fixed promptly at 6pm every day. On the first and second days, he didn't see any results, but on the third day he came home and found his dinner on the ta…

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, ""It's a lot of money!"" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office(the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, ""$165,000!"" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of cou…

How did Canada get its name? C eh, N eh, D eh.

Pokemon Go goes live in Canada today You idiots.

People doubt me when I mention how accepting Canada is towards the LGBT community. But it's Trudeau.

How do you celebrate July 4th in Canada? Not by getting drunk and blowing off your fingers, because it's just a regular day fir you.

I light of Canada Day, When Canada was formed they couldn't decide what to name it so they put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled them one at a time to get the name. They decided that the first 3 letters would be the name. The PM called out the letters as he pulled them. C-eh, N-eh, D-eh! Thus CANADA was born!

Did you hear how Canada got its name? The leaders couldn't decide on a name for their nation so they decided to grab a scrabble bag and choose 3 random letters. One of the leaders sticks his hand into the bag and picks a letter out. He then announces the letter to the leaders. ""C...ay"" Goes for the next letter and announces that. ""N...ay"". Finally goes for one more letter. ""D...ay"" Edit: told it twice on accident.

Challenge: Change one letter in a move title to create a whole new blockbuster Examples: Pooper: BRUCE WILLIS finds out the hard way just how dangerous time travel can be. Tar Trek: WILLIAM SHATNER's quest to go where no man has gone before to make Canada a major oil producer. Gone with the Wine: Nicholas Cage drinks himself to death in the old south. 301: Dalmatians rescue ancient Sparta from cruel cats. Zardog: Sean Connery's dog wins Best of Show. Sin Citi: Kiki's bond ratings may have fallen…

Scottish man in canada So a Scottish man with a stereotypical accent goes to canada and is riding on a train through the country. He then sees a moose out the window and starts FREAKING out. As the train crew notice his clamor, they quickly go to ask him what is wrong. He then asks, ""What is that giant monster out there???"". (read this part aloud) They say, ""It's a moose"". He replies, ""A moose? Then I wonder what the rats look like here!""

Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada. He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist.

Joke regarding Canada What's a Canadian's favourite weapon? An Eh k-47

A Sikh man had to face street harassment, teasing and rude jokes about his homeland and fellow countrymen in America. Why are we so mean to Canada guys ?

If Trump wins, why should you move to Mexico instead of Canada? Because there'll be an actual wall keeping you from Trump

How do you kill a one legged fox? Have it run across Canada. (maybe only Canadians will get this)

I joined a nudist colony in Canada. To be honest, I'm starting to get cold feet.

An Irishman walks into a bar in London , orders 3 pints of beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender tells him, ""You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."" The Irishman replies, ""Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dublin , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When we left home, we promised that …

Chevrolet has seen a huge drop in sales in Canada They just hate the 2016 Cruze