#canada

What do they call Chipotle in Canada? Chipotl-eh

How did the founding fathers of Canada name there country? They drew letters from a hat. ""A 'C' eh! An 'N' eh! A 'D' eh!"" they cried

Canada could have had the best of three worlds. They could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture. Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.

Canada was like, ""This is all part of the Northwest Territories,"" but the Inuit were having Nunavut.

I want to start a customizable shoe store in Canada I'm gonna call it ""It's All About You""

How did Canada get it's name? The forefathers decided the best way to name their new country was to pick letters out of a hat. ""C eh, n eh, d eh""

A nice couple was sitting on the porch of their vacation home on a river in Canada... A nice couple was sitting on the porch of their vacation home on a river in Canada. The woman raises her gaze from the book she was reading and stated to her partner, ""Did you hear that a family of beavers moved into a nice place just up stream."" The man looks up from the publication he was reading, smirks and stares disillusioned into the distance and said, ""Well I'll be damned.""

Asked my friend to make up a joke about two Canadians and a Bear A visually impaired Canadian is notified that a bear has broken into his house and is eating all his food. He hurries home and into the kitchen, where he finds A: his hairy housemate and B: a bear. But he doesn't know which is which! ""Shoot us both,"" the housemate says, ""it's the only way you can be sure!"" ""RRRRAAAAWWWRRR,"" says the bear. ...He doesn't shoot any of them, because firearms are dangerous and strictly regulated i…

Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black.

Because Nickleback sucks too.... So Avril Lavigne is Married to a fellow Canadian, who is a band member of Nickleback.... Apparently Canada does not have laws against same suck marriage. ba dump bump!

In Canada... ...you are more likely to be killed by a moose than a terror plot. Damn Mooselisms.

Winter is a lot like Justin Bieber. It was cute and exciting in the begining, but now its a bit annoying and it should probably just stay in Canada.

What does Rob Schneider say when he visits Canada? Yukon do it!

What was the internet speed in Canada in the 1990's? 56eh.

A Real Woman A flight going from Canada to Germany, suddenly had it's engine fail.The Pilot, realizing they wouldn't be able to survive the impact, told everyone to brace themselves for the upcoming crash. A woman stood up, and said ""I'm not gonna die like this, afraid and crouching. Is anyone here man enough to make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?"" There was a long silence, then a man stood up, unbuttoned his shirt, then unbuckled his belt. He quickly pulled off his pants and shirt, t…

A Fish Tale A Texas oil tycoon is in northern Canada for a vacation and has booked a day of fishing on the Great Slave Lake. The guide says they will start out on the lake at sun up, two am. As they start out the guide says, ""Have you ever seen such a long day?"" The Texan lights a cigar and says, ""Sonny, the sun never sets on Texas, it's God's country"" As they head out across The Great Slave, the tenth largest in the world, the guide asks, ""Have you ever fished on a lake a big as this?"" Th…

How do you kill a one-legged fox? Tell it to run across canada ;) boom! Too soon?

A man takes a tour at the Royal Canadian Mint... ""Hello, my name is John, and Ill be your guide today for your tour of the Royal Canadian Mint"" ""Today, you will get to see the inner workings of how coins are made in Canada, and learn many intersting facts"" Contrary to popular belief, these facts were insanly dull, and the tour guide despised recounting them. You see, the tour guide was tired of his job. In his professional opinion, showing fat, sweaty tourists a whole bunch of coins was poss…

I heard Target is closing all its stores in Canada I guess you can say nobody will miss it

What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!

It's an old joke, it's long, but it's one of my favorites. Dave and Mike are two friends and are hanging out, just talking and having a good time. Suddenly, the Prime Minister of Canada walks up to them with a huge smile on his face and says, ""Hey Dave! Long time no see!"" Mike is in shock and just listens to Dave and the PM chat, laugh and act lie they're old friends. After a bit, the PM says goodbye and walks off. ""You know the Prime Minister!?"" Mike asks. ""Of course,"" says Dave, ""We've …

Contest! The Three Funniest Jew Jokes get a free Christmas hat [US & Canada Only] We're jews over at Rally Flip Cap and we think Jewish jokes are hilarious. We also think ironic prizes are hilarious. So to celebrate Hanukkah we're going to giveaway 3 Merry Christmas hats! The 3 most upvoted jokes get this hat for free, completely free, including the shipping, no hidden fees, US & Canada Only, goodluck! http://www.rallyflipcap.com/merry-christmas-hat/ edit: Okay everyone the contest is ov…

Road trip to Canada Three guys go on a road trip to Canada. They are doing their best to experiance the local culture as much as they can and at the end of their last night there they go to a pizza place where they order ""the most Canadian Pizza you've got"". When the pizza returns they're shocked to find it covered in cookies, brownies, and even bits of cake. So one of the guys flags down a waiter and asks what on earth is on their pizza to which the waiter responds, ""What? Haven't you ever h…

An elderly woman walks into a grocery store.. EDIT: I just noticed this got posted as soon as I submitted, surely no one in the crowd I was with is also a redditor?? and ask's one of the stock boys for a half head of lettuce, ""we don't sell half heads ma'am"", after much insisting he said he'd go ask his manager. As he walked to the back of the store he didn't notice the woman following him, he found his manager and said, ""hey boss, this old hag out here wants a HALF head of lettuce??"" The ma…

How do you spell Canada? C, eh, N, eh, D, eh