Chilli Testing!!! If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge 3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfโ€ฆ

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Chili in Texas Note: Please take time to read this slowly. Read it all. Do not skip any sections. Do not skip ahead. Pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. Note: For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!! Note from Frank: ""Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfieโ€ฆ

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After several years of marriage, Debbie's husband, Mike, died suddenly.... .... According to his wishes, Debbie had his body cremated and placed the remains in a small urn. Several weeks later, Debbie came home wearing a full-length mink coat and an eight-carat diamond ring. She went into the living room, removed the urn from the mantel and carefully tapped Mike's ashes into a small dish on the coffee table. ""Mike, my beloved Mike,"" she began, ""I wish to talk to you. Mike, do you remember, foโ€ฆ

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Babies Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance. ""What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"" ""Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!"" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. ""Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."" ""Saints be praised, I..."" Before Mike can fโ€ฆ

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It's an old joke, it's long, but it's one of my favorites. Dave and Mike are two friends and are hanging out, just talking and having a good time. Suddenly, the Prime Minister of Canada walks up to them with a huge smile on his face and says, ""Hey Dave! Long time no see!"" Mike is in shock and just listens to Dave and the PM chat, laugh and act lie they're old friends. After a bit, the PM says goodbye and walks off. ""You know the Prime Minister!?"" Mike asks. ""Of course,"" says Dave, ""We've โ€ฆ

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Texas Chili Cook-off! Texas Chili Cook-Off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween coโ€ฆ

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Do you have a Category for LONGEST Joke? (ok maybe it's not a ""joke"", but it sure is funny) If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a majoโ€ฆ

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Donna's husband Mike died suddenly one day. Donna was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Mike's obituary to read. Donna asked the undertaker, ""How much does an obituary cost?"" The undertaker replied, ""One dollar per word."" Donna then said, ""I want the obituary to read - MIKE IS DEAD."" The under taker was an old fishing buddy of Mike's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, ""I'll make you a special deโ€ฆ

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New Mexico Chili Cook-off NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK OFF If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico. For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chilโ€ฆ

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Chili Cook Off {this TRULY should be a repost, but if not, enjoy...} Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that โ€ฆ

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Jack says to his friend Mike, โ€œI'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after service for me?" Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike asks the minister all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied." The โ€ฆ

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Texas Chili Cookoff Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have โ€ฆ

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ยซI'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after service for me?ยป Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike asks the minister all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied." The minister thinks for a minute, smโ€ฆ

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Mike went to US to meet his friend Bill. Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest. Bill: Dig the ground. Mike did it. Bill: More....More...More... Mike went upto 100 Feet. Bill: So now, try to search something. Mike: I got a Wire. Bill: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. Mike became frustrated. He invited Bill to his country. Next year Bill was in Mikeโ€™s country. Mike: I want to show you our advancement. The same...heโ€ฆ

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In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for his questioning. When Patty came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across froโ€ฆ

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Mike and Bill, are hanging out in the lone bar in a one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt. "Good work!" says the bartender. He pops the cash register open, pulls out a wad of bills, and counts them out into the rancher's outstretched hand. After the rancher leaves, Mike asks the bartender, "What was that all about?" The barkeep says, "Haven't you boys heard? We got us a real wolf problem in these parts, and the county ain't done a thing about it. Whโ€ฆ

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