#mcdonalds

Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.

she like a man in uniform so the mcdonalds outfit here 2 stay

I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..

If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald's because fitness is a lifestyle

There's a secret menu item at McDonald's but you can't order it, you can only get it by acting like a jerk. (Cheeseburger wiped on shoe)

McDonald's should have an express drive thru lane just for people who need french fries.

You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a "clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup" kind of morning.

I make the McDonald's guy eat a McDouble with me like when people buy shots for the bartender

I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches.

I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

I just had an AMAZING salad at McDonalds. The toppings I chose were 4 big macs & 10 chicken mc nuggets with 9 sweet & sour packs as dressing

My doctor had a plate of McDonalds food that was a year old to show people that it never rots. The burger was dry but the fries were decent.

Just ate McDonalds after working out, which is the same as taking a shit after a shower.

Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour.

One time I got so high that I accidentally got a job at McDonald's.

Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide

[ronald mcdonald in fake mustache sidles up to group of teens] mcdonalds sucks right guys? Let's discuss ways they could improve their image

"YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce.

McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!

McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.

Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.

Mcdonalds showing people doing yoga in their commercials is like George Bush having a library named after him.

Don't make eye contact with me at McDonalds. We're both here for our own sad reasons.

If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours.