#mcdonalds

If you could only eat one thing from the McDonald's menu for the rest of your life... How would you off yourself?

Older Men Scam Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite…

Employment at McDonald's is based on a Don't ask, Don't tell policy Don't ask me why I'm pulling up to the drive through at 10pm and ordering one chicken sandwich meal, and I Don't tell you how disappointed your parents are.

['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena.

Tutti Frutti, oh Rutti Bob was going to a panda party and needed to buy some bamboo. On his way to the bamboo store he passed a McDonald's with some kids playing in the ball pit. They knocked a few balls out - a blue one, a red one, a yellow one- the blue ball rolled right at Bob's feet. So, Bob lobbed a blue ball and bought bamboo.

Math teacher teaches his students a shortcut ""Is there a shortcut"",asked by a student after the teacher showing all the steps of a math problem. ""Yes"", the teacher answers,""drive westward and turn left then you will see a McDonald's there.""

Just found out that McDonald's is serving all-day breakfast ... ... all day breakfast? I don't have that kind of time.

How are Michael Jackson and McDonalds similar? They both put 40 year old meat in between 8 year old buns.

I like my coffee like my women... Piping hot and all over my lap in the McDonald's drive thru (backs away very slowly, opens door without turning around, lurks out...)

What do FRENCH people order from McDonald's FRENCH fries hahaha

a little funny song. read it. like it i believe i can flyyy got shot by the pizza guyyy all i wanted was some onion ringggss from McDonald's or Burgerkinggg I believe i can soarrrr mom slapped me in the grocery storeee Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr I believe i can falllll I tripped on a bouncey ballll Thought id post this funny jokes. Even though i got no votes.

You're McDonalds; I'm Burger King I'm doing it my way, and you're lovin' it.

KAREN ADDISON: CHEAP DATE He took me to McDonald's, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

Was on an online dating website. ""Which do you prefer, McDonald's or Burger King?"" I asked her. ""And be careful, your response will determine whether I continue talking to you or not..."" ""Ohhhh I'm nervous now"" she giggled ""But for me, it's Burger King"". ""See ya later"" I replied. ""The correct answer would've been neither, Fatty"".

Is your body from McDonalds? Why because you are loving it.... No ...because its fat and greasy.

i believe i can flyyy got shot by the pizza guyyy all i wanted was some onion ringggss from McDonald's or Burgerkinggg I believe i can soarrrr mom slapped me in the grocery storeee Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr I believe i can falllll.

Topical Jokes for 1/31 The CEO of McDonald's has announced he'll be resigning later this year. It's the first time in history that a McDonald's employee has quit and given more than five seconds notice. The New Hampshire lottery is selling scratch n sniff tickets that smell like bacon. The aroma is there to remind people that if they didn't waste their money on lottery tickets, they could afford to eat bacon. In Alabama, a truck driver caused a mile-long traffic jam when he swerved off the road …

Man walks into a McDonalds. Cashier: ""Hello welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"" Man: ""Hi, let me get a Bigmac value meal. Burn the lettuce, burn the onions, burn the ketchup, burn the fries... hell, burn the soda- but remember to fill up the cup to the brim with ice so that it takes up half the volume. Burn everything except the patty; I want that to be ice cold. Make one of the buns smaller than the other, and significantly misplaced so that half of it is hanging off the sandwich w…

What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common? Liberal Arts Degrees.

Sweet Old Couple - Part II The Sweet old couple finish their meal and the entire restaurant takes a sigh. They are smitten in adoration for the couple. The old man gets up and tells his wife, ""Honey, let's go behind the restaurant where we always used to meet when we were young."" The wife blushes but gets up. Both of them are seen exiting through the back door. Now, the entire McDonald's customer and servers gather up towards the exit door. They pry the door slightly open and observe the coupl…

A bearded man walks into McDonalds without a shirt on... ""Sorry sir, but unless you put a shirt on we can't provide you service,"" the manager says from behind the counter. Incredulous, the man draws himself up and gestures grandiosely to his chin. ""I am wearing a goatee!""

Today's PSA Today's Public Service Announcement! WARNING TO ALL MEN. ** BEWARE** Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shop…

Best pun ...EVER Unfortunately I didn't go to the Gym today but the cashiers name at McDonald's was Jim .... So same thing, right??

Old joke. New setting. A backpacker is walking through a town when all of a sudden he is hit from behind by a man who then proceeds to grab his backpack and yell, ""Thief! Thief!"" Police soon arrive and detain both of the men. Both of whom claim that the backpack is theirs. The sheriff of the town, clever as he is, lays the backpack before the men and asks them to describe the contents. The man who gets it right is clearly the backpack's owner. The backpacker begins to speak, but the thief loud…

McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin