#third-child

"How old are you?" Things you say to your third child.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who suggests I should have a third child is committing a hate crime.

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil. Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?' When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Susie. The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.. A little later the Nun asked Su…

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, ""I went on a choo-choo train ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a train ride."" The second child says ""I went on a tug-tug boat ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a boat ride."" The third child says, full of pride, ""I read a book."" ""Which one?"" asks the teacher…

Little Jhony, April and Teacher Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and…

Little April wasn't the best student in Sunday school Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and Saviour,"" But, April didn't even…

A mother of 3 children was at the park one day... Her oldest child came up to her on the bench. ""Mama, why is my name Rose?"" ""Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head, and we read it as a sign to name you Rose."" The mother's second child came running up and asked: ""Mama why is my name Lily?"" ""Because at the hospital a lily petal dropped onto your head and we took it as a sign to name you Lily."" The third child came running up to her mother: ""AUUUAEUHAUEHUGUGUHE"" ""Y…

Strangely Named There were once three children, whose names were rather unfortunate The first child was named ""none of your business"" The Second child was named ""Manners"" The third child was named ""Trouble"" Trouble was lost, so none of your business and manners went to the local police station for help, manners was terrified of the popo, so none of your business went in alone. A policeman was waiting near the entrance. Policeman: Hello, what's your name None of your business: None of your …

A mother has 3 kids. The first kid goes up to her mom and says, ""Mommy, why I am I named petal?"" The mom responds, ""Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."" The second child goes up to her mom and says, ""Why am I named Rose?"" The mom says, ""Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head Finally, the third child comes up and says, ""My favorite color is potato."" ""SHUT UP BRICK""

Little Johnny and April Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and Saviour…

Penny was never the best Sunday school student. She was always falling asleep in class and getting into trouble. ""Penny,"" the Sunday school teacher asked, one dozing day. ""Who created the universe?"" When she didn't stir, Jimmy, who sat behind her, poked her in the rear with his pencil. ""God Almighty!"" shouted Penny, and the teacher said, ""Very good."" A while later the teacher asked ""Penny, who is our savior?"" But again Penny didn't stir from her slumber. Jimmy poked her again with his …

Doctor and rabbit Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Do you smoke? No. Do you eat too much? No. Do you go to bed late? No. Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? No. Then why would you want to live more than 100 years? Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood. Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But tod…

Little april in Sunday school! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and …

A teacher asked her class.. The meaning of control. The first child says ""a plane has control panels!"" The teacher says: ""That's nice, sit down. "" The second child stands up and says ""I can control the tv channel!"" The teacher says ""that's correct, sit down"" the third child says ""my dad pushed my gran down the stairs, then said: Look at that old *cuntroll*""

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary did…

Little April... Little Johnny jokes Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord…

My wife was pregnant with our third child... My wife was pregnant with our third child. Long story short, we had been having some complications and had been seeing a special Ob/Gyn but everything seemed to be going fine. Except my wife went into labor just a little early by just a couple weeks. We called our doctor's office, and of course, our specialist was unavailable, so we got patched in to whatever B-Team doctor they had available that evening. He got on the phone and I told him we believed…

Little April and Sunday school Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and …

Three young daughters. The three young daughters were hanging out with their mom. They're 8, 7, and 5. The eldest one asked the mom, ""Mom, why is my name Paris?"". The mom replied ""Oh it's because you were made in Paris honey. We had our honeymoon there"". The second one curiously asked the mom ""is that why my name is Brooklyn mom? Because you guys were in Brooklyn when I was made?"". ""Yes honey, that's right. It's a very nice place and your dad is from there"". The third child was so overly…

Little Johnny at Sunday school. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and…

Little Jonny and Little April Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and S…

The firefighters dog A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be. ""They use him to keep crowds back,"" said one youngster. ""No,"" said another, ""he's just for good luck."" A third child concluded. ""No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!""

Babies Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance. ""What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"" ""Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!"" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. ""Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."" ""Saints be praised, I..."" Before Mike can f…

Little Lucy & Little Johnny Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?"" When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""God Almighty! "" shouted Lucy and the teacher said, ""Very good,"" and Lucy fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Lucy, ""Who is our …

And that's how people get their names. Beth has three children. One day, the youngest asks his mother: ""Mom, why is my name Leaf?"" ""You see son, when you were born, a leaf fell on your head."" The second child comes in. ""Mom, why is my name feather?"" ""You see, when you were born, a feather fell on your head."" The third child then comes in to his mother: ""HNGHENENNENNEFSJNGDND!!!"" ""Be quiet please, Refrigerator.""