#second-child

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, ""I went on a choo-choo train ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a train ride."" The second child says ""I went on a tug-tug boat ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a boat ride."" The third child says, full of pride, ""I read a book."" ""Which one?"" asks the teacher…

A couple has twins. If one is named Peter, what is name of second child? Repeater.

A second child fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla enclosure. Luckily the kid escaped and the gorillas were unHarambed.

Don't Fall Asleep in Church A man who went to church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday, she took a long hatpin with her to poke him with every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out, ""And who created all there is in six days and rested on the seventh?"" She poked her husband, who came flying out of the pew and screamed, ""GOD!!"" The minister said, ""That's right, that's r…

A mother of 3 children was at the park one day... Her oldest child came up to her on the bench. ""Mama, why is my name Rose?"" ""Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head, and we read it as a sign to name you Rose."" The mother's second child came running up and asked: ""Mama why is my name Lily?"" ""Because at the hospital a lily petal dropped onto your head and we took it as a sign to name you Lily."" The third child came running up to her mother: ""AUUUAEUHAUEHUGUGUHE"" ""Y…

Wife just gave birth to our second child and told me I need to appreciate her more I promised to worship the ground she stomps on

Strangely Named There were once three children, whose names were rather unfortunate The first child was named ""none of your business"" The Second child was named ""Manners"" The third child was named ""Trouble"" Trouble was lost, so none of your business and manners went to the local police station for help, manners was terrified of the popo, so none of your business went in alone. A policeman was waiting near the entrance. Policeman: Hello, what's your name None of your business: None of your …

A mother has 3 kids. The first kid goes up to her mom and says, ""Mommy, why I am I named petal?"" The mom responds, ""Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."" The second child goes up to her mom and says, ""Why am I named Rose?"" The mom says, ""Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head Finally, the third child comes up and says, ""My favorite color is potato."" ""SHUT UP BRICK""

My wife and I welcomed our second child into the world yesterday afternoon! I never knew she African ancestry...but I guess I should have known with the first one.

I went to see the Christmas play at my local elementary school the other day And the scene where the 3 Wise Men bring gifts to Baby Jesus was approaching. The second graders walked to center stage one after another, faced Baby Jesus, and placed their gifts on the ground one at a time. ""I bring you gold"" the first child said ""I bring you myrrh"" the second child said ""Frank sent this"" the last child said.

Doctor and rabbit Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Do you smoke? No. Do you eat too much? No. Do you go to bed late? No. Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? No. Then why would you want to live more than 100 years? Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood. Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But tod…

A teacher asked her class.. The meaning of control. The first child says ""a plane has control panels!"" The teacher says: ""That's nice, sit down. "" The second child stands up and says ""I can control the tv channel!"" The teacher says ""that's correct, sit down"" the third child says ""my dad pushed my gran down the stairs, then said: Look at that old *cuntroll*""

I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception.

3 Native American boys ask their father how they got their names The first child asks, ""Father, how did I get the name Soaring Eagle?"" The father replies, ""After you were born, I walked out of the teepee, and the very first thing I saw was a majestic eagle soaring past the sun."" The second child asks, ""Well then how did I get my name Running Bull?"" The father says, ""My son, after you were born, I walked out of the teeppee and the very first thing I saw was a beautiful bull running across …

An irish couple is in the hospital as the wife is having a baby.... ...The doctor delivers the baby and says to the husband ""Congratulations! You now have a bouncing baby boy!"" The couple is overjoyed with the successful delivery of their new son. Just then the doctor says ""Oh wait! There's more!"" and proceeds to deliver a second child, this time a beautiful baby girl. The couple is surprised, but still happy with their new twin babies. Just then the doctor says ""Hold that thought! There's …

And that's how people get their names. Beth has three children. One day, the youngest asks his mother: ""Mom, why is my name Leaf?"" ""You see son, when you were born, a leaf fell on your head."" The second child comes in. ""Mom, why is my name feather?"" ""You see, when you were born, a feather fell on your head."" The third child then comes in to his mother: ""HNGHENENNENNEFSJNGDND!!!"" ""Be quiet please, Refrigerator.""

Family names their children after the first thing that touches their face. A family has three children. They name each children after the first thing that crosses against their face. One day they are walking down the street in a park when a lady stops to comment on how beautiful their first child is. She then asks ""What is his name?"" ""His name is Leaf,"" they said. ""That's an interesting name. Why did you pick a name like leaf?"" ""Because when he was born, a leaf crossed against her cheek."…

One day an elderly Chinese grandfather gets a phone call from his son ""Come quick, I'm about to be a dad!"" says the son. So the grandfather rushes down to the hospital to see his daughter-in-law going into labour. ""It's twins!"" says the son excitedly. After many moments of screaming and pushing, the son is holding a beautiful Chinese boy. ""What a handsome boy!"" says the son proudly. The father can't help but agree as he admires his first grandchild. The wife prepares to deliver the second …

George visits an isolated village As he walks down the street he sees three children playing. He is inspired by their happiness, approaches them and asks for their names. ""Sunflower"", says the freckle-faced girl. ""Sunflower?"", asks the man, ""Why would that be your name?"" - ""It is said that when I was born, a sunflower fell on my head!"" - ""Oh, I see."" He turns to the second child who has a very shiny face and asks him for his name. ""My name is dandelion."" - ""How come?"" - ""When I wa…

Southern Charm Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, ""When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."" The lady from the South commented, ""Well, bless your hea…

Two kids watch a pot-bellied man undress in a changing room, One of them say ""What is in your tummy that makes it so round?"" To have some fun the pot-bellied man says, ""A bomb"". Dumbfounded the second child says, ""What a short fuse!""

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, ""When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."" The lady from the South commented, ""Well, isn't that precious?"" The first wom…

Shortly after the birth of their second child her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room having tried on the last selection she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. ""It's perfect!"" he exclaimed. ""It makes your waist look smaller your legs look longer and slenderizes your hips…

When our second child was on the way my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: ""Some parents"" she said ""tell the older child 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies what if your husband came home one day and said 'Honey I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'"" One…

A mother has 3 kids A mother has 3 kids. The first kid goes up to her mom and says, "Mommy, why I am I named petal?" The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head." The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?" The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato." "SHUT UP BRICK"