#margaret

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. YES MY CHILD Great! Amway is the largest multi-level marketing company worldwide. Our products range

The new British PM has been spotted performing necromantic rituals over Margaret Thatcher's grave... She May be planning Theresa corpse.

Doctor and rabbit Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Do you smoke? No. Do you eat too much? No. Do you go to bed late? No. Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? No. Then why would you want to live more than 100 years? Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood. Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But tod…

I'm sorry your what eyes? I just spent a weekend at a wedding and my friend brought his girlfriend that very few of us had spent much time around. His girlfriend is a wee little Asian lady that we shall call Margaret (fitting I know). We were all in a group making our normal wise cracks and being the silly people we are while Margaret was acting shy and only giggling every once in a while. All of a sudden out of left field Margaret chimes in ""You better look out if you see me and my squinty eye…

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight. Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.' The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?' To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'

A woman bursts out laughing in a NASA control room witnessing a comet on an impact course with Earth. Director: Margaret, this is beyond catastrophic, what on Earth are you laughing at ? Woman: Sorry, it's just the comet reminds me of my husband. Director: What are you talking about ? Woman: Well, it's coming too quickly.

3 old men... 3 old men are talking in the park. ""I had awfull problems with my liver, but I also know a realy good doctor who cured me."" says the first one. ""I had terible problems with my heart, but a realy good doctor cured me"" says the second one. ""I had some problems with my memory, but I'm now just like an elephant thanks to my doctor!""says the first one. ""Realy?""said the other 2""What's his name?"" ""Well, ummm..... what's that white plant that starts with an 'M' called?"" ""What? …

An old man was lying on his deathbed. His wife of forty years was holding his hand. He looked at her and said ""Margaret, It seems like you have always been with me when I was in need. Remember that time I fell down the stairs? You stayed with me. And when I lost my job? You were right there. Now that I am dying, you are here. You know what, Margaret?"" ""What, John?"" ""I think you're a jinx.""

Just heard that they served cider at Margaret Thatcher's wake... ...it was Thatchers Cold

An Elderly Couple An elderly couple visit the doctors one day complaining that they are both forgetting things. The doctor advises them to write down the things they need to remember. Several days after the doctors appointment, the elderly couple are sat down watching television when the man asks, 'Margaret, would you mind making me a cup of tea?' 'Of course not', she replies. 'Don't forget to write it down, Margaret' the old man says 'You wouldn't want to forget it!' 'Don't be ridiculous! I won…

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 4. Thank you for your email. Your cred…

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit. The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put …

They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she's escaped from the funny farm?

An old man was lying on his deathbed. An old man was lying on his deathbed. His wife of forty years was holding his hand. He looked at her and said “Margaret, It seems like you have always been with me when I was in need. Remember that time I fell down the stairs? You stayed with me. And when I lost my job? You were right there. Now that I am dying, you are here. You know what, Margaret?” “What, John?” “I think you’re a jinx.”

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight. Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.' The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?' To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'

Three Amish ladies are in a field picking potatoes Their husbands names are Jake, Jacob and Jakey. They would always get confused. So one day they decided to nickname them. Mabel said "lets name them after soda pop", the other two said "what do you mean?". Mabel said she would go first and said " I'll call my Jacob 7-Up because he has 7 inches and its always up". Oh the other two loved this idea. So Ella went next and said "I'll call my Jake Mountain Dew because he takes me to the mountain and …

An elderly couple is enjoying a lovely breakfast. The wife sets down her fork and asks her husband "Bill, would you remarry if I were to die?" Her husband avoided the question "Now Margaret, why would you ruin this lovely morning by bringing up such a macabre topic? I won't discuss it." Margaret broached the subject several times over the next few days but Bill refused to answer. Until one evening. "YES! Yes, Margaret I would remarry. I love you but if you died I would remarry." "Well woul…

An elderly couple Margaret and Bert