#nasa

[high] ME: dude, NASA faked the moon landing FRIEND: wait, u mean- ME: yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere

NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks

Hey Girl is your Dad an Astronaut??Because I'm from Nasa. There has been a terrible accident at the Space Station and he is dead

the idiots at NASA just hit Jupiter with one of their fireworks

Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats

If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.

I'm human, but I never got to go to space. Dogs and monkeys *aren't human, but they did. That's the gist of my lawsuit against NASA.

Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA put a man on the moon. We put a bird into pigs.

I'm sorry you're just not NASA material "Why?" Well, you wrote 'red' then crossed it out & put 'human' under blood type on your application.

(NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.

Hello is this NASA? Ya what will happen if the sun decided to come out at night? Is it still called night or morning? Hello?

Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail

NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure.

Before NASA sent Curiosity, Mars was bustling with cats.

Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.

NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions.

I've been drinking my urine for years, but NASA still refuses to let me be an astronaut. "There's more to it than that" they say. Whatever.

Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough.

[getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"

I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things I think people need to know, NASA.

NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!

the fowled experiment scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, th…

Old space shuttle Challenger jokes How did they find out that Christa McCauliffe had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders! What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts What were Christa McAuliffe's last words? What does this button do?

News Headline: ""Nasa finds crack in Space Shuttle"" Well its got to get pretty boring up there on those long space flights.

So NASA has bombed the moon... So, it seems the moon is hiding weapons of mass destruction too.