#winnie

If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?

Winnie the Pooh: will u marry me? Piglet: for the last time, u don't get a literal "honey" moon Pooh: pls say yes I need to see for myself

Facebook tells me today is "National Winnie the Pooh Day" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office

I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door.

One time my 4yr old got so mad at my wife he yelled, "YOU'RE RABBIT FROM WINNIE THE POOH!" Best.Insult.Ever.

Winnie the Pooh band-aids may look cute but are useless on stab wounds.

Maybe someone just charmed the pants off of Winnie the Pooh.

Just realized that my spirit animal is Winnie the Pooh. Two words: No pants.

It's the first day of 3rd grade... Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade. As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer. Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana. The teacher said, 'No, no, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grown-up word.' Next Samantha said she went for a trip on a choo-choo. Once again the teacher again said, 'No, …

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? They both have the same middle names.

Big People Words [Big People Words](http://www.1976ad.com/2011/09/16/big-people-words/) A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them. She asked John what he had done over the weekend? 'I went to visit my Nana.' 'No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!' She then asked Mitchell what he had…

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, ""I went on a choo-choo train ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a train ride."" The second child says ""I went on a tug-tug boat ride."" ""No,"" the teacher says, ""you went on a boat ride."" The third child says, full of pride, ""I read a book."" ""Which one?"" asks the teacher…

A teacher doesn't want baby talk from her students A second grade teacher asks her students what they did over the weekend. The first student says ""I went on a choo-choo train! ""That's good,"" says the teacher, ""but we're in second grade now and we should talk like grown-ups. You should say you went on a train."" The second student says ""We went camping and I saw a bunny rabbit!"" The teacher raises a finger. ""That sounds exciting! But remember, talk like a grown-up. Just say 'rabbit.'"" A …

My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh She says I am becoming unbearable.

Grown-up Words A primary one teacher was speaking to her class on the first day of term. ""Alright class, I'd like everyone to tell me what they did over the summer holiday. Remember, you're not at nursery any more, so you need to use grown-up words now. Jamie, you go first."" So Jamie excitedly stood up and said ""I went on a choo-choo!"" The teacher grimaced and replied ""No Jamie, you rode on a train. Remember, grown-up words. Sarah, you next. What did you do?"" Sarah stood up and exclaimed "…

Winston Churchill enters the Men's room... ... at the House of Commons, and see Clement Attlee, the Head of the Labor Party. Rather than joining Attlee and conversing, Churchill goes to the far end of the piss trough. Attlee says, ""What's the matter Winnie, not feeling sociable today?"" Churchill replies, ""No, it's just that whenever you Socialist boys see something big, you want to nationalize it.""

Winnie-the-Pooh is in tears He got Triggered.

Why can't Rabbit tell Winnie the Pooh to stop eating honey on Tumblr? Because he may get Tiggered

I walked past Winnie the Pooh's grave earlier today It read *Here Lies Winnie the Dead Shit*

My 5 year old has a filthy mouth. His favorite book is Winnie the Shit.

What do you call The Bear who loves philosophy? winnie the Philosopooh

What do you call Winnie the Pooh's Grandmother? Poonanny

How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh? Put two fingers in his honey.

Winnie the pooh just died. I know, its hard to bear

Winnie-the-Pooh and cocaine So Winnie-the-Pooh got some cocaine from his dealer and is walking home across the Hundred Acre Wood, holding the powder in his cupped paws. He encounters Eeyore and decides, being his friend, to share some. Hey, Eeyore, you want blow? Eeyore lowers his head to Winnie's paws and blows at them. Winnie-the-Pooh looks at his nearly empty paws and says, ""Well, Eeyore, you really are an ass!""