#facebook

Just got my Facebook account suspended for reading a full article before I shared it.

Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today

Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.

I have Facebook like reflexes. "Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?" *throws a book and hits you right in the face*

I don't go on Facebook much so Dave, if you're seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year's party, hope you had fun dude.

Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."

On Facebook, someone posted that they have 90 days of pregnancy left. The 1st commenter said 'when are you due?' This is why we are here...

Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.

Don't feel like going to the gym? Go to all your ex's facebook pages and see who they're dating now. Then go to the gym.

Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote "dirty Jew" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year.

Top 5 things to ditch in 2017 5. Debt 4. People you don't like 3. Facebook 2. Drama 1. The bodies

A guy I know just posted "I'm relaxing today, don't bother me" on Facebook, and let me tell you: I was going to bother him but now I'm not

A fun thing to do is comment "that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos

If you want to keep a secret from me, write it and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.

If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt

If you're new to Twitter from Facebook, you can just reply "Like" to all of my tweets. I'll understand

What I hated the most in Facebook? . . . . . . . See more

Saw a man at the beach screaming, "SAVE ME..I'm drowning". I instantly uploaded his pic, captioned "1 like = 100 prayers" on facebook..!!

In case nobody has Facebook, it's cold outside.

Facebook account for sale, friends included.

If Twitter is a rave then Facebook is a Tupperware party.

What do you mean you were really drunk? I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.

Are Facebook quizzes still around? Just now starting to wonder which Spice Girl I am.

Mean while, back on Facebook, Jennifer is blaming the birth of her son for her being fat. Her son is 6 ....

So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy