#facebook

Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work.

HOLY SHIT. THANK GOD TINA S. UPDATED HER FACEBOOK STATUS TO "i hate studyyinggg" OR ELSE WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN?! BIG NEWS, TINA! BIG NEWS.

It's exhausting typing "NO ONE GIVES A SHIT" to all your friends' baby pics on Facebook.

Looking to find a way to say "I'm not mad at you" without actual human communication? Try a Facebook Like today!

Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more.

Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.

wow thanks for dying grandpa that shit is blowing up my Facebook

Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder

Facebook is essentially a machine that eats time and shits thumbs.

"BEST WEEKEND EVER!" ~ The same stupid bitch on Facebook, at least twice a month...

There are a lot of dads out there trying to make up for lost time by "liking" their grown children's facebook updates.

Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.

Some girls on Facebook are cute until their 30-day photoshop trial expires.

"Playing hard to get huh?" I say as I flip through your wedding photos on facebook.

Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?

Facebook really needs a "pee on someone's wall" option.

Facebook game requests are the Jehovah's Witnesses of the Internet

Did this many people have birthdays before Facebook?

Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today.

*Signs into Facebook "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook

Whenever I'm feeling I'm getting soft I log in to Facebook to rekindle my hate for humanity.

*Comments on Facebook picture* "That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."

While everyone is busy complaining about their tweets being stolen & put on Facebook, I've quietly become the funniest person on MySpace!

Can we all just agree that nothing needs to be connected to Facebook ever?

I have friends. By that I mean I have pictures of me standing next to people on Facebook.