#george

John: Hey Jude... Paul: Don't make it bad George: Take a sad song... Ringo: So weird how coffee is yummy hot or cold but gross in-between

Spanish people feed their horses hay, but the naughty ones get George.

*george washington shows up to the club to party* you got i.d.?' *george pulls out a quarter* you're in'"

John: Yesterday... Paul: All my troubles seemed so far away George: But now it looks... Ringo: Waterslides hurt if they aren't wet enough

Wait... "George Bush" ..... George Bush Geonge Elush Ginge Eleshn Ninge Elevhn NiNe EleVEN NINE ELEVEN ..... BUSH DID 9/11

George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:"It's too desperate." J:"How'd you find out?" G:"I'm on both."

Let me get this straight. The guy was raised by animals in the jungle with no human contact whatsoever and he named himself George?

George Washington's underage brother got into taverns by using the dollar as a fake ID.

"Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank." "Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."

Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life.

George Foreman named all five of his sons George. I'll bet the password on every website he goes to is "password".

I bet George Washington's favorite drinking game had to have been Quarters.

What is everyone writing songs about? John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

John: There are places... Paul: I remember George: All my life, though... Ringo: How can antibiotics and pro-biotics both be good for you

A man and his chicken... Once upon a time there was a man, lets call him George. Now George had a pet chicken, and he loved this chicken to death. He did everything with his chicken, he walked with it, he talked with it, he even bathed with it. One day George decided he wanted to go to the movies, and decided he would bring his chicken along with him. So, chicken in hand, he drives to the movie theater. When he gets to the theater he buys two tickets. The employee who sold George his tickets ask…

George bush stupidity So George bush, the queen of England, a hockey player, a scientist, and a little kid are all on a plane that will soon crash, and there are only 4 parachutes. The queen of England says: ""Well all my people back home need me"" takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. George bush says: ""All my fellow Americans need me"" takes a parachute, jumps out of the plane. The hockey player says: ""Well all of my fans need me"" Takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Now …

A condom joke (xpost from todayilearned) ""Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: ""Our largest condom factory has exploded,"" the Russian President cried. ""My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"" ""Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,"" replied the President. ""I do need your help"" said Putin. ""Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over…

A Jumper On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped. The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, ""What are you doing?"" ""I'm going to commit suicide,"" she says. While he didn't want to appear ""sensitive,"" he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... ""Well, before you jump, why don't yo…

Clocks in Heaven A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. ""Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell a lie, the second hand moves once."" She is amazed at this and goes looking. She finds Mother Theresa's clock and notices it's moved three times. George Washington's clock hasn't moved at…

If I could have been any Monarch in history I would have been George the 6th But with asthma. That way I could introduce myself by saying I'm King George... and Wheezy.

A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers The engineer fumed, ""What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"" The doctor chimed in, ""I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"" The priest said, ""Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."" He said, ""Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"" The greens keeper replied, ""O…

Michaelangelo, Albert Einstein, and George W. Bush die and end up at heaven's gate... Michaelangelo walks up to the gate and St. Peter tells him. ""Listen, we have had some recent intruders faking who they were. Is there any way you can prove that you are the real Michaelangelo?"" Michaelangelo requests a board and he then proceeds to draw the most beautiful painting ever seen by St Peter. St Peter tells him, ""Congratulations! Welcome to heaven."" Next comes Albert Einstein and St Peter proceed…

What's George Washington's favorite song. Doesn't matter, just as long as it's royalty-free.

3 Men go to heaven... God: What would you like everyone to say at your funeral Billy? Billy: That ""I was a great father and caring husband of a beautiful wife."" God: ok, what about you George? George: That ""I was a great doctor and have saved many lives."" God: Alright, what about you Timmy? Timmy: I want them to say: ""Hey look! He's MOVING!""

Patty the Irishman was drinking at his favorite watering hole... When George the bartender looked up, ""Patty it's closing time, get yer ass home Elaine is going to have your head!"" ""Oh I know, I know."" Patty got up, and immediately fell down. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up on the handle and fell through the door to the sidewalk outside. He made it to a parking meter and pulled himself up again, the whole way home Patty kept falling and getting back up. He finally made it home, he …