#george-w-bush

George W. Bush isn't writing a memoir, but "an account of key decisions", such as 9/11, Iraq, and "all the other things Cheney made me do."

George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant.

The people who think Obamacare is failing thought George W. Bush was succeeding.

Easy way to tell GOP actually know their policies are hot giraffe shit is how ashamed they are of George W. Bush.

17 year-old Malia Obama playing beer pong is the most outrageous thing the child of a president has done since George W. Bush invaded Iraq

If George W. Bush was the president of France today, he would declare war on Finland.

What's the difference between George W. Bush and Hitler? Hitler was an evil *genius*.

Brazilian Soldiers An aide walks into the oval office. George W. Bush is currently president, and the Iraq war is dragging out into a long and grueling occupation. The aide presents the numbers from yesterday to the President. ""Mr. President, yesterday the US coalition forces killed a confirmed 36 insurgents."" The President nodded his head patriotically. ""There were some losses on our end, however."" The aide continued. ""We lost a US hummer with four soldiers in it to an IED outside of Tekri…

Michaelangelo, Albert Einstein, and George W. Bush die and end up at heaven's gate... Michaelangelo walks up to the gate and St. Peter tells him. ""Listen, we have had some recent intruders faking who they were. Is there any way you can prove that you are the real Michaelangelo?"" Michaelangelo requests a board and he then proceeds to draw the most beautiful painting ever seen by St Peter. St Peter tells him, ""Congratulations! Welcome to heaven."" Next comes Albert Einstein and St Peter proceed…

Why did the chicken cross the road? (answers from various personalities) **GEORGE W. BUSH** We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. **AL GORE** I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represents the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed …

George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump were all leaving Washington D.C. and going the same direction, so they decided to take Air Force 1. Unfortunately, due to a mechanical malfunction, Air Force 1 crashed, killing all aboard. So Bush, Obama, and Trump approached the pearly gates, where God sat on his throne. ""Tell me, what do you believe in?"" God asked Mr. Bush. ""I believe in education and free trade,"" was the reply. ""Excellent. Take a seat here on my right,"" God said. ""Now tell …

Joke that was totally told to me by a Navy SEAL and I am not lying or anything After numerous rounds of, ""We don't know if Osama is still alive,"" Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve …

It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail... He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress. ""Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"" Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says ""How about a quickie?"" The waitress is appalled. ""Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."" …

Moses Meets Dubya George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, ""I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"" Moses replied, ""The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!""

epic meeting of world's top leaders During a World Economic Summit, George W Bush, Mexican President Vincente Fox, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French Prime minister Jacques Chirac are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. George Bush says ""This is a fine bottle of wine Prime Minister Chirac"" Upon hearing this Prime Minister Chirac throws out a case of France's finest wine and says ""…

President Obama is in a race with the previous 4 presidents... George W. Bush, William Clinton, George H. W. Bush, and Ronald Reagon. They are running a mile to see who can get the fastest time. Barrack Obama placed last, with a time of 15:12 George H.W. Bush placed 4th with a time of 13:57 Ronald Reagon placed 3rd with a time of 11:33 William Clinton placed 2nd with a time of 9:57 And Bush did 9:11

Einstein, Casals, Picasso, and George W. Bush die and go to heaven. St. Peter is waiting for them, and requests identification. Einstein, who is first in line, says ""I don't have any ID, but I can explain the equivalence of matter and energy."" He is given a blackboard and proceeds to give an eloquent explanation of one of his most famous theories. ""Only Einstein himself could explain this so well,"" says St. Peter. ""Step right in, professor. Next?"" Then Casals, who is next in line, says ""I…

George W. Bush goes in for an interview George W. Bush, out of work and bored after his presidency, decides to go for the job of Exxon's CEO. The board of directors sits down with him for an interview. ""George, you're extremely qualified. Prior CEO of an oil company, Yale undergrad, Harvard Business, governor of Texas, and commander-in-chief. We'd be lucky to have you, truth be told. We just had a question about a gap in your resume - specifically, how you managed to graduate high school. It sa…

George W. Bush walks into a bar. The bartender asks ""what will it be?"" Bush gives the bartender a blank a look the bartender asks again ""what will it be?"" Where is the teleprompter? Don't kill me! This is my first joke :<

George W Bush looked exactly like a chimpanzee, and Michelle Obama has the face of a gorilla... The White House should be the name of the monkey exhibit at the Washington DC Zoo!

TIL that despite graduating from Yale with a business degree, George W Bush turned down the position of Field Supervisor in his family's oil business to start in the mail room. He said he was more of an ""inside job"" kind of guy.

If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president.

How did George W Bush use reggae to win his election? He needed an Al Gore riddim.

What kind of car does George W. Bush drive? Porsche 9-11

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:- ""370H SSV 0773H."" Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:- ""Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down.""