#albert-einstein

Yeah, if Albert Einstein is so smart then why is he dead?

Not only did I find 5 grey hairs on the top of my head but they were also sticking straight up. So....I'm transforming into Albert Einstein.

"Eat the booty like groceries" -Albert Einstein

Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist that experimented with cadavers. His name was Frank

Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts. His name was Frank

"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they're not always accurate." - Albert Einstein

Michaelangelo, Albert Einstein, and George W. Bush die and end up at heaven's gate... Michaelangelo walks up to the gate and St. Peter tells him. ""Listen, we have had some recent intruders faking who they were. Is there any way you can prove that you are the real Michaelangelo?"" Michaelangelo requests a board and he then proceeds to draw the most beautiful painting ever seen by St Peter. St Peter tells him, ""Congratulations! Welcome to heaven."" Next comes Albert Einstein and St Peter proceed…

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

Little Johnny Goes To School... Little Johnny goes to school and after only 15 minutes, the teacher tells them that whoever can identify the speaker one of three quotes can go home. Johnny couldn't believe it, he was smart enough, he could go home after only 15 minutes of school! So the teacher says ""I'll start out with an easy one. Who said 'I have a dream?'"" Before Johnny could even blink, Little Sally throws her hand in the air and says ""Martin Luther King Jr."" The teacher congratulates h…

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and go seek Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting, while Pascal dashes off to hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and steps into it. Once Einstein finishes counting, he notices Newton and says ""AHA, I've found you Newton!"" To which Isaac Newton replies ""you didn't find Newton, Albert. You found a Pascal""

Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Donald trump arrive in heaven. Saint Peter tells them that if they can prove that they really are who they say they are, they can go in. Picasso starts painting immediately, creating a master piece. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Einstein, who explains the theory of general relativity to him. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Trump, who is looking bemused, and tells him ""If you can prove who you are, I will let…

My buddy told me this hilarious joke earlier about Albert Einstein getting a handjob... What a stroke of genius!

Einstein's chauffeur. When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making. ""I have and idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you.…

You may like to add a tag to your YouTube video. That tag? Albert Einstein.

A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to one another on a long flight. Bored, and thinking he could have some fun with her, the lawyer leans over and offers to play a game. ""We take turns asking each other questions. If you cannot answer my question correctly, you must give me $10. If I cannot answer a question of yours correctly, I will give you $100. Deal?"" The blonde agrees to play, and they exchange a few simple questions, both getting correct answers. Then the lawyer decides to ask some …

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That rose's name? Albert Einstein.

Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Bob Marley, Marilyn Monroe, ""Venison's dear isn't it?"", John Lennon, Albert Einstein, Bruce Lee, Steve McQueen, James Dean Pun intended

The father's code On his deathbed, the father gave his son a piece of paper, Ben quickly grab the paper and reads it. ""3.70 =13.20"" exclaimed the young man, ""what is this father?"", knowing that his father spends his time discovering the secrets on earth, he quickly assume that this is a code of his last discovery. After his father dies, Ben spent most of his life solving the equation. He becomes a great mathemathician, historian and a well-known archeologist but in spite of his success in li…

A toilet and the sink were talking The toilet says ""hey bro, I once got pissed in by the Queen of England."" The sink said, ""yeah? Albert Einstein once washed his hands in me."" The toilet replied, ""well, once Lebron James took a shit in me."" ""You're full of crap,"" said the sink.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday at the Kennedy compound on Cape Cod. One a rainy afternoon Einstein suggests they play a game. So they get out the card table and setup. God suggests Poker, Einstein 500 and Kennedy Blackjack. After a ten minutes of arguments, Schwarzenegger says ""Why don't we just play Yahtzee?"" At that God gets up and storms out. Kennedy turns to Einstein and ask ""What was that about?"" Einstein says ""God does not play dice with …

Relativity A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: ""Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?""

Anti-matter Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner. ""Well,"" said the chaffeur, ""I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?'' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a…

Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist. His name was Frank Einstein

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. ""I have an idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times, I'll bet I could give it for you."" Einstein laughed loudly and said, ""Why …

Speechmaking When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. "I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laug…