#arnold-schwarzenegger

Wife: "I'm tired of you endlessly misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger films. I'm leaving you." Me: "You'll be back."

*sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"

"i'll be back" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume

Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to "Hey Arnold"

A riddle for the day Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi's. What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good ) ---------------------------------------------------------- The answer is: ""A Last Name."" Sorr…

Arnold Schwarzenegger wakes up on easter morning...

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade.....

Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger kill insects? Because he's an ex-terminator

Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger? To breed a Kennedy that could take a bullet.

Arnold Schwarzenegger opens his own shopping mall. A customer left her purse on the counter after a purchase. Seeing the customer is nearing the exit of the mall, Arnold handed the purse to the nearest cashier. ""GET TO THE SHOPPER, NOW!""

Arnold Schwarzenegger has made a pretty good career for himself in pest control... They say he's a great ex-terminator

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Steven Seagal decide to make and star in a movie about famous composers... Bruce: ""Okay guys, let's decide which musicians we'd like to portray"" Seagal: ""Well, I guess I'll play Beethoven if you guys think that works"" Stallone: ""that seems like a good fit. I think I'll be Mozart."" Willis: ""Sounds good so far. I'd like to portray Brahms."" *Stallone turns towards Schwarzenegger* ""Hey Arnold, have you decide who you want to play?…

My girlfriend left because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry... I'll return.

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers... Bruce Willis says ""I'll be Mozart"", Chuck Norris says ""I'll be Beethoven"" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""I'll be Bach"".

Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President... It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power...

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican whose wife is a member of the Kennedy family. That makes him and his family...The Red Kennedys.

So Arnold Schwarzenegger opened a pest control business... Because he was already an Ex Terminator.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music! His newest album is titled, ""I'll Be Bach.""

I won a contest to go trick or treating with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. Wad thinking of going as Beethoven. He'll be Bach.

I couldn't think of any good Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes right now, but when I do I'll be back.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he's raping someone? ""Come with me if you want to live!""

Some Arnie jokes My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back. __ Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby"". __ A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to make an Action Film featuring Classical Musicians. They begin to enlist famous Action Heroes. The actors that are chosen; Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director says, ""Sylvester, you be Beethov…

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg I said to him: ""I bet I know what your favourite holiday is."" He said: ""You've got to love Easter, baby.""