#mozart

Uhhh, sorry Mozart, but a Wolf gang is called a pack. Smh

trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song

January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old. Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday

Me: Mozart was a great composer, but now that he's dead he's a great Wife: I swear to God I'll divorce you Me: *through tears* Decomposer.

Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. "I'll be beethoven!" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? "I'LL BE BACH."

Imagine going to a theater in 1765 to see Mozart play symphony number 30 but as soon as he starts playing, the bass drops and people go nuts

Just watched two of my kids try and fail to open a cereal box so I've concluded that playing Mozart during pregnancy is bullshit.

I've matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff

What did Mozart say to the police clerk? "I'll be Bach" hahaha. What do you mean they're different people

Tastes of chicken A farmer was having a conversation with two of his chickens concerning their favorite classical composers. He asked the first chicken, ""Who is your favorite composer?"" to which the chicken replied, ""Bach bach bach bach bach"". ""I like Bach too. Who do you favor?"" he queried his second chicken. The second chicken answered, ""Mozart"".

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What do you think Mozart is doing right now? Decomposing.

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)

Mozart killed all his chickens.. he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying "" Bach! Bach! Bach!

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers... Bruce Willis says ""I'll be Mozart"", Chuck Norris says ""I'll be Beethoven"" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""I'll be Bach"".

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …

A grave digger... A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried. The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave. The grave digger hits the coffin. The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time. The grave digger yells, ""What are you doing?!"" Mozart responds with, ""Decomposing.""

So a middle school is putting on a musical The musical is about classical composers and they need three boys to play the leads. The first boy comes in and says he wants the part of Beethoven. His name is marked down and he leaves. The second boy comes in and says he wants the part of Mozart. His name is marked down and he leaves. However, the last boy rushes in too early and they aren't ready for him. ""You have to go out and wait for your name to be called."" They say to him. ""Fine,"" he says.…

Why did Beethoven hate Mozart? Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.

A man walks into a bar with a mouse on his shoulder. ""What are you doing with that yoke in here?"" asks the barman. The man replies ""Well I have a proposition for you. The mouse gets to stay and I get a full bottle of good whiskey if I can show you this mouse playing the piano!"". ""Deal"" says the barman, not believing this obvious drunk. The man sets the mouse on the table, brings out a tiny piano and, lo and behold, the mouse starts playing Mozart! ""That's incredible"" says the barman, and…

Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day. After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song. He called it Minute in A Minor.

Why did Mozart kill his chicken? It kept saying ""BACH BACH BACH"" Why did Mozart kill his other chicken? To impress his Wolf-gang.

A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, of about 12 inches height, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a …

Arnold Schwarzenegger joins an improv troupe. Arnold Schwarzenegger joins an improv troupe, to partake in some low-profile, low-pressure acting. On his first night on board, the first scenario is a meeting of famous classical composers from throughout history. ""Let's plan our roles before we go on stage,"" says the troupe leader. ""I'll be Mozart."" ""I'll be Vivaldi,"" says a member. ""I'll be Handel,"" says another. ""What about you, Mr. Schwarzenegger?"" says the leader slyly. ""What role wo…

In a hundred year's times, the equivalent of ""Mozart turning in his grave"" will be Adele rolling in the deep