#first-boy

My son has just earned his first boy scout award for 'video gaming'. I guess the next ones will be for 'social ineptitude' & 'pale skin'.

One day bush went jogging... One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river. After cleaning up he said, ""Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."" The first boy said, ""Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"" ""I'll personally …

Savoir Faire Three French boys are discussing what it means to have ""savoir faire"". The first boy says ""It is like this. If a man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with another man and leaves quietly so as to not disturb them, then he has savoir faire."" The second boy say ""No. That is Laissez faire. If he tips his hat and says 'Excuse me. Please continue.' then he has savoir faire."" The third boy says ""No. If a man comes home from work, finds his wife in bed with another man,…

The Three Daughters There once was a very successful farmer with 3 beautiful daughters daughters, all in high school. It was a Friday night, and they all had dates. The farmer, wanting to protect his girls, made sure to talk to the boys before letting his daughters out to go on the dates. The first boy came to the house and greeted the farmer. ""Hi! My name is Bill, I'm here to pick up Jill so we can go have a picknick on the hill."" The farmer got Jill and the couple left. A few minutes later, …

The Walnut Joke - Two boys were walking home one day when they came upon this huge walnut tree. WALNUT JOKE - Two boys were walking home one day when they came upon this huge Walnut tree. One boy said, ""Lets gather all the walnuts and then we'll divide them between us."" So they gathered all the walnuts. They stuffed them down their shirts, down their pants, down their sox and even tied burlap bags to their ankles to put the walnuts in. Then they started walking home... When they came close to …

Two boys are having a competition. They have made a bet to see who could fart the hardest. To settle the bet, they have a pan filled with flour and leveled. Whoever can displace the most flour wins. The first boy crouches over the pan and lets one rip. When the flour settles, they see the pan has only half the flour as it did to begin with. ""I can do better than that."" Said the second boy. They refill the pan and level the top. The second boy crouches over the pan and lets a mighty one go. Onl…

So a middle school is putting on a musical The musical is about classical composers and they need three boys to play the leads. The first boy comes in and says he wants the part of Beethoven. His name is marked down and he leaves. The second boy comes in and says he wants the part of Mozart. His name is marked down and he leaves. However, the last boy rushes in too early and they aren't ready for him. ""You have to go out and wait for your name to be called."" They say to him. ""Fine,"" he says.…

There once was a farmer... There once was a farmer who was very overprotective of his three daughters. Turned out that all of his daughters had dates that same night. So he went on to the porch with his shotgun and waited for the dates to come. The first boy came and said, ""*Hi, I'm Freddy. I'm here for Betty to go out for spaghetti. Is she ready?*"" The farmer thought he was decent and let him go with his daughter. The second boy came and said, ""*Hello, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo to go see a s…

Possible NSFW joke. It's probably fine though. 3 teenage boys share a tent as they camp out. In the morning the boys are waking up, the first boy says ""I had the best dream! I was being jerked off!"" One of the other boys says ""no way! Me too!"" The last boy says ""You won't believe it, I was down hill skiing!""

Three boys are walking down the railroad tracks and find a $10 bill..... .... and they're trying to decide what to do with the money. The first boy says ""let's buy some candy"" and the other boys say ""that's what we always do... Let's use it for something different."" The second boy says ""let's buy some comic books"" and the other boys say ""that's what we always do when we don't spend it on candy."" The third boy says ""let's buy a box of tampons"". The other boys look at him and say ""what?…

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ""My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."" The second boy says, ""That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."" The third boy says, ""I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!""

Not sure if this qualifies as a joke, but.... I'm sitting out on my front porch watching two groups of boys, ages 8-10 or so, arguing about who was tougher, badder, etc. One of them pipes up with "" My Dad is a soldier, and he could beat your Dad's ass!"" The other boy, a bit younger, replies ""Nuh-uh. Just because he's a soldier doesn't make him bullet-proof!"" The first boy just sort of stood there, not seeming to know what to say back. Talk about escalating quickly. I was still chuckling abou…

Two Kids Find a Puppy... Two kids find a puppy on the side of a road on their way home from school. They both want the puppy and decide to play a game to see who gets to keep it. The game is quite simple: whoever can tell the craziest story wins. Just before the first boy goes, a pastor stops and asks what they are doing. The boys explain what is going on and the pastor scolds them, he explains that the Bible says lying is wrong, and that he has never told a lie in his life. The boys then handed…

Use ANTIVIRUS first Boy: Can I touch u r Software, Girl: First show me u r Hardware, Boy: Can I Download it in u r Hole? Girl: use ANTIVIRUS first.

Who is better Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father. One boy said, ""My father is better than your father."" The other kid said, ""Well, my mother is better than your mother."" The first boy paused, ""I guess you're right. My father says the same thing.""

In class room . Russia , after the war . Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, "" driver "" , the second ""The Postman ."" I ask a question about the third . He said, "" electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )

Three boys decide to sneak fruit on a farmer's property... Three boys, hungry, hot, and tired after a summer day of play decide to sneak onto a farmer's property to eat some fruit without him knowing. After they climb through the fence, the three boys split up to go eat their favorite fruits. From his house, the farmer sees the boys and becomes infuriated, seeing as they have done this countless times in the past. He rushes out of his house and finds the first boy eating cherries. Enraged, the f…

Argument between 3 boys First boy says, ""my dad is so cool, he drives the car so fast that the road rips apart!"". Second boy says, ""what's so cool about that? My dad flies the aeroplane so fast that the sky rips apart!"". Third boy says, ""pffft. My dad farts so hard his pants rip apart!""

Three young boys are talking about the creepiest people they know. The first boy says, ""I heard old man Jones once caught a bat, cooked it, and ate it!"" The second boy, unimpressed, replied ""Well I heard that there is a clown down on Maple Street that has red eyes and spiders for pets!"" The third boy finally pipes up. ""I heard my dad the other night talking to my mom. I guess she bleeds for a whole week every month and doesn't even die!""

Well played boy... well played Was 'about town' the other day and heard these two middle school aged children taunting one another, there conversation went like this: Boy 1: ""your so gay man"", Boy 2: ""well that means i'm happy"", Boy 1: ""Yeah... Happy around men"" Couldn't help myself but laugh, the first boy was so proud of his comeback.

Three boys are sitting across from an exotic car dealership... Admiring the cars, when a genie pops out of the sewer and offers them each a wish. The first boy says, ""I want a Porsche!"" The genie nods and a brand new Porsche appears in the road. The kid gets in and drives off. The second boy says, ""I want a Rolls Royce!"" Again, the genie nods and a shiny new Rolls appears. The kid jumps in the car and drives away. The last kid thinks about it for a minute. He finally looks up and says, ""I w…

Hair Two 10-year-old boys are walking down the road and they see a Cadillac driving past. One of the boys says, ""Wow. I wish I had that Cadillac."" The other says, ""Nah, I wish I had hair all over my body!"" First boy asks him why he would want that. And the second boy says, ""Well, my sister's friend has this little patch of hair here (*he points to his crotch*) and she gets all the Cadillacs she wants!""

[oc] Halloween. Three boys knock on the door of an old lady. They are in single file and stand there silently. She says to the first boy ""Well? It is Halloween right? When you come to the door what do you say??"". The boys start to chuckle as Spiderman mumbled ""trick or treat?"". He takes his candy in silence as the woman asks ""now what do you say?"". The boys laugh a little harder as the boy mutters a thank you. When the vampire approaches silently she becomes irritated. ""You clearly heard …

A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off.

Two ten year old boys sitting on the steps to a brothel... ... watching men enter and exit all day. At one point, two men come out smiling, laughing and talking loudly to each other. ""Not bad for fifty bucks!"" Says the first man with a large smile. ""Not bad."" Agrees the second with a grin and a wink. The first boy has an idea and immediately turns to the second. ""How much money have you got?"" He asks. ""Thirty cents."" Says the second. ""Give it here,"" he checks his own pockets and states…