#mozart

A man with a suitcase walked into a talent agent's office. ""Okay, let's see what you've got,"" said the agent. Without a word, the man reached into his case and pulled out a tiny grand piano, a bench, and a little man about 12 inches tall dressed in a tuxedo. The agent figured he was about to see yet another ventriloquist act when to his amazement, the little man bowed to him, sat down at the piano and proceeded to play a selection of Mozart. The agent was flabbergasted. ""Where . . . where did…

What cheese does a piano princess eat? Mozart-rella!

What does Mozart put on his front lawn? Metrognomes

Mozart's tomb. One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb. When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: ""What are you doing with all of your great works of music?"" Mozart repied, ""I'm decomposing!""

A man walks into a bar A man walks into a half empty bar and says to the bartender ""If I show you something amazing will you give me a free drink?"" ""You know bud,"" the world-weary bartender says, ""I've been in this business for a long, long time and it will take something pretty freaking special to impress me but if you think you can give it a shot"". The man smiles and lifts a carry-on type suitcase onto the bar, opens it, reaches in and withdraws a small grand piano and places it on the b…

What did Mozart tell the terminator I'll be Bach

Mozart got sick and tired and decided to slaughter all his chickens. They wouldn't stop going Bach bach bach.

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ... Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius' Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque' Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Mozart is rolling in his grave. In 50 years people will be saying ""Adele is rolling in the deep.""

Arnold's Costume Choice Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to a costume party and want to have similar costumes. ""I'll go as Mozart, so you should go as another famous musician,"" said Stallone. Schwarzenegger said, ""I'll be Bach.""

What is Mozart doing right now? Any one else get that pm? /u/jokinglikeabot

Austria, mid-1950s Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied ""I'll be Bach!""

The magic Dog A man goes to a casting show for talents with his dog. ""Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Gizmo the magic dog! I ask him a question and he answers it correct!"" The jury laughed, but he asked:""Gizmo, what is on top of this house?"" ""Roof! Roof!"", Gizmo said. The audience went quiet. ""Gizmo, what can sink ships?"" ""Reef! Reef!"", the dog said. One from the jury asked:""Is this a joke? This dog is just barking!"" ""Wait! One last question! Gizmo, name one famous composer!"" ""Or…

What is mozart doing nowadays? Decomposing

The death Symphony (x post from /r/feghoot) TL;DR monkey poo makes great pudding. In the mid 1950s the New York philharmonic was one of the best Symphony Orchestras in the world. And conducting was Major Jorge Fillmore. George Fillmore was a WWII vet who loved music, and found that conducting helped him keep his PTSD at a minimum (although PTSD had yet to be understood by the medical community, let alone given a name). The flow of the notes soothed his soul and the power of conducting such a lar…

Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, ""what's your costume going to be?"" ""I'll be Bach""

""Wolfgang Mozart"", says Mozart's friend... ""What?!"" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.

Q: What is Mozart doing right now? A: Decomposing.

A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the lives of famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asks Sylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallone thinks for a moment and says, ""I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."" The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'd like to play. Arnold replies, ""I'll be Bach!""

Veronica was practicing the piano when suddenly there was a loud pounding on the front door. She opened it and found a breathless cop. ""What's the matter?!"" she asked. ""Where's the body?!"" demanded the officer. ""What are you talking about?"" ""We just got a tip that some guy named Mozart was being murdered in this house.""

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn!

When Mozart passed away... When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and…

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"

Joke about dead Austrian composer When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noises coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he …