#bruce

Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?

[Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today

BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg BRUCE: Bring me a cape

"Honey?! What did you feed him? His poop is huge ... and green!" [the first of many struggles that Bruce Banner's parents faced]

Robin: Gee Bruce, how come you get to wear dark concealing colors and I have to wear bright Red, Yellow and Green? Batman: You're the decoy

Me: How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves? The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

*Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*

[Bruce Willis on his deathbed] Bruce: Viagra! Dr: Bruce this isn't the time- Bruce: Give me...a Viagra! Dr: Ok *Bruce Dies...Hard*

Bruce Willis is talking to a parrot. "I'm Bruce Willis" he says. The parrot repeats it. "yeah right" Bruce says, but is secretly worried

Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people.

Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome.

Two guys are stuck in the desert, close to death, lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... ""Hey Bill, do you smell what I smell? I'm sure it's bacon!"" Yes, Bruce, it smells like bacon to me.' So, with their last resources of energy, they crawl up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. Bill races towards the tree. As he approaches, there is a rattle of machine gun fire, cruelly cutting him down. ""Bruce, go back!"" he cries as …

What if Bruce Jenner's whole ""Caitlyn"" thing is just a big joke, but nobody gets it because ... ... women aren't funny ?

Steve, Bruce and Jed are working on a telephone tower, when Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, ""Someone should go and tell his wife."" Jed says, ""OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."" Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bruce says, ""Where did you get that, Jed?"" ""Steve's wife gave it to me,"" Jed replies. ""That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"" Well…

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Steven Seagal decide to make and star in a movie about famous composers... Bruce: ""Okay guys, let's decide which musicians we'd like to portray"" Seagal: ""Well, I guess I'll play Beethoven if you guys think that works"" Stallone: ""that seems like a good fit. I think I'll be Mozart."" Willis: ""Sounds good so far. I'd like to portray Brahms."" *Stallone turns towards Schwarzenegger* ""Hey Arnold, have you decide who you want to play?…

There were three men working at a construction site... ...an Australian called Bruce, an Englishman called John and an Irishman called Paddy. Bruce got tired of getting the same old sandwich day after day, so he said ""if I get another Vegemite sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump of this building"". John got tired of getting the same old sandwich day after day, so he said ""if I get another cucumber and ham sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump of this building"". Paddy got tired of getting the same old sandwic…

What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner? One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.

Some Arnie jokes My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back. __ Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby"". __ A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to make an Action Film featuring Classical Musicians. They begin to enlist famous Action Heroes. The actors that are chosen; Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director says, ""Sylvester, you be Beethov…

If Norman Bates was batman's dad.. would Alfred call Bruce, Master Bates?

Did you hear that Jenner accident was actually caused by the car? Bruce was having tranny problems.

Caitlyn Jenner has been charged with manslaughter... Bruce is dead.

Last night I overheard a punchline, but didn't hear the preceding joke. The punchline is inside, you tell me the joke. Bruce Jenner's cat

What did Drake Bell say to Batman? Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

Joke requested: Kind-hearted Caitlyn Jenner jokes Giving a best man speech this weekend and would love to keep it relevant. Plus the brides name is Caitlyn. I dont personally believe transgender issues are funny and certainly wouldnt be appropriate in this forum but was hoping for help on an original concept that pokes fun at gender relations, the person formally know as Bruce, etc.

I had to neuter my dog today... his name was Bruce but now I call him Caitlyn.