*batman voice* Alfred, my bat-wang is stuck in my bat-zipper. Bat-help.

[Security breach at Wayne manor] BRUCE: *brooding darkly* ALFRED: The back door is literally just a waterfall

Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome.

Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people.