Does "You'll find love when you're not looking for it" apply to money too? Because let me be clear I am NOT looking for $10 million dollars.

My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :(

I totally get your eyebrows. My bank account is overdrawn, too.

It's actually a good thing money doesn't grow on trees because I've killed every plant I've ever owned.