#steves

We've replaced Steve's regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let's see if he notices.

HI, I'M STEVE'S CAPS LOCK KEY, AND I'D LIKE TO MEET OTHER CAPS LOCKS KEYS. I'M INTERESTED IN BOATING AND HIKING.

Steve, Bruce and Jed are working on a telephone tower, when Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, ""Someone should go and tell his wife."" Jed says, ""OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."" Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bruce says, ""Where did you get that, Jed?"" ""Steve's wife gave it to me,"" Jed replies. ""That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"" Well…

The $40 joke Steve is going out for his buddy's bachelor party. It's been planned for months. He gets home from work and quickly starts getting ready. His lady, Tina, surprises him with a fancy dress shirt for the big night. ""Aw thanks babe, it's amazing"". She tells him it was really expensive but ""he's worth it and it's a big night"". He leaves and meets the lads at the bar. No time for food, apparently and they dive straight into shooters. 8 shots in, no food and Steve stands up and pukes a…

Billy was obsessed with tractors. He grew up on a farm and ever since the very first moment he laid eyes on a tractor he thought they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His parents would take him for rides through the fields on their tractor and started buying him toy tractors to play with. As he grew up he drew pictures of tractors all the time, and collected photos of rare tractors to put up in his bedroom. He bought tractor magazines and joined the Tractor Fanclub, and spent any s…

Halloween costume... Guy 1 at Halloween party: Hey look, Steve's wife dressed up like Wonder Woman. Guy 2 at Halloween party: Yeah, it makes you wonder if she's a woman.

Delivery Disclaimer: Racist, but a black man told it to me, so I'm allowed to share. There's a really kind-hearted delivery truck driver whose name is Steve. Steve has some good friends that he knows through work. One of his best friends is named Wally. Wally's wife had come down with pneumonia, so Wally, who is assigned to deliver a truckload of bowling balls through a storm, asks Steve to take care of the delivery for him. Being such a kind-hearted person, Steve agrees. Steve leaves early beca…

Steve Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding. Suddenly Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body Bob and Jeff realise they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good with this sort of sensitive stuff so he volunteers to do it. After two hours he returns carrying a six-pack of beer. ""So did you tell her?"" Asks Jeff. ""Yep."" Replies Bob. ""Hey where did you get the six-pack?"" ""She gave it to me."" ""What?!"" Exclaims Jeff. ""…

One day while scaffolding... Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff. "Yep", replied Bob. "Say, where did you get …

Billy was obsessed with tractors. Billy was obsessed with tractors. He grew up on a farm and ever since the very first moment he laid eyes on a tractor he thought they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His parents would take him for rides through the fields on their tractor and started buying him toy tractors to play with. As he grew up he drew pictures of tractors all the time, and collected photos of rare tractors to put up in his bedroom. He bought tractor magazines and joined t…

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and..... Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod i…

Fishing…… Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.…

A sensitive man... Some construction workers are working on a high building early in the morning. Sadly, Steve slips off a ledge, spirals down to the ground and is critically injured. They attempt to save him with CPR, but there is a large hole in his skull that the blood keeps squirting out of, and he dies. Bill says 'Someone needs to tell Steve's wife'. Joey says 'I'll do it, I'm very sensitive'. Joey goes off, then a few hours later comes back with two cases of beer. Bill asks 'Whe…

Steve owns a flower stand. He’s got all kinds of flowers - daisies, petunias, roses, and even wildflowers like firewheels and bluebonnets. He has the most expansive collection of flowers in the city, all of the highest quality, and business is booming. However, one day, a group of priests moved in across the street and open their own flowers shop. Their collection is just as expansive, just as high-quality, and they begin to siphon off customers from Steve. Soon, Steve’s customer base has bee…

Men are very sensitive.. Some construction workers are working on a high building early in the morning. Sadly, Steve slips off a ledge, spirals down to the ground and is critically injured. They attempt to save him with CPR, but there is a large hole in his skull that the blood keeps squirting out of, and he dies. Bill says 'Someone needs to tell Steve's wife'. Joey says 'I'll do it, I'm very sensitive'. Joey goes off, then a few hours later comes back with two cases of beer. Bill ask…

What were Steve Jobs children told to do when their father passed away? Steve's Job.

What's the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff. My friend Steve likes cats. People are always saying, 'Oh, Steve's really a cat person.' No he's not. If Steve were a cat person, it'd be, like, 'Hey, Steve never goes in the pool.' Demetri Martin