#billys

Limericks Pretend that America's pastime is limericks instead of baseball. So two men, Earl P. Erickson, a Harvard graduate and valedictorian, and Billy Steaz, who dropped out of highschool as a senior. These bright men were in a competition for limericks. They had been in a even field for two days, neither being beaten, nor gaining the upper hand. Today would be their last day. So the MC had a box full of papers with words for the men to make limericks out of. The MC reaches into the box and di…

Billy's Wife is Cheating Billy comes home early from work, only to find his wife sleeping with another man. He gets sad, then he gets really angry. Billy angrily pulls up his gun and points it at the guy. Billy's wife tries to calm Billy but Billy doesn't even listen to her. Billy shouts! ""Stay inside! I don't want you to see this."" Then Billy takes the man outside, Billy whispers at him: ""No one has to die. I'll pretend like I shot us both. Whoever she runs to, is the person she loves. Okay?…

Teacher offers middle school students a monday absence. If.... ...Anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase. So Sarah raises her hand, and says ""The sky is definitely blue."" Teacher tells her: ""That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"" After some silence, Ted raises his hand. ""The grass is definitely green"", he declares. ""Now that's an excellent one!"" The teacher declares. ""But when i…

Young Billy discovers the power of prayers One day Billy's teacher yells at him for not doing his homework. He feels upset and when in bed he prays' Dear God, please kill my teacher"" When he goes to the school, he learns that his teacher passed away. He comes back home amazed by the power of his new forms of communication. Second day, his grandma eats the last piece of cake he was hoping to eat. He feels upset and later that night when in bed he prays ' Dear God, please kill my grandma' In the …

They thought he knew It was Sunday and Billy woke up excited to go to his first soccer game. He took his time making sure he had all his equipment and went to go ask his mom to drive him to his game. Unfortunately, Billy's mom was still asleep. He woke up his mom, but since she was taking a while, Billy told his mom that he would just ride his bike to the soccer game and he'll just meet her there. Billy sped out of his house skipping breakfast because he was behind his planned schedule. When Bil…

A son and his father go for a bike ride They go all through farmland and back trails, stopping a few times to rest. When they get home the mother says ""Why is Billy's shirt brown?"" The father look down at his feet, then said ""The kid loves animals."" Billy like to play with animals.

Billy's parents called the school on the afternoon he completed his make up test, they wanted to know why he was wearing lipstick and mascara.

Little Billy and his organ (version 2) Little Billy had dark hair, hazel eyes, and always wore red sneakers. His parents were both musicians, so Little Billy started playing the organ when he was 5. He practiced and practiced after school every day until it was very late. He loved the organ very much. He even got private lessons from a professional organist from his local church. His mother, while supporting his hobby, was warned by his pediatrician: ""Billy practicing on the organ has prevented…

Billy was obsessed with tractors. He grew up on a farm and ever since the very first moment he laid eyes on a tractor he thought they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His parents would take him for rides through the fields on their tractor and started buying him toy tractors to play with. As he grew up he drew pictures of tractors all the time, and collected photos of rare tractors to put up in his bedroom. He bought tractor magazines and joined the Tractor Fanclub, and spent any s…

Christmas gift to a friend... could afford much but the payphone is cheap. Me: ""Hello, is this the Police?"" Police: ""Yes. What do you want?"" Me: ""I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Jones! He is hiding marijuana inside logs of firewood in his woodshed"" Police:""Thank you very much for the call, sir."" The next day, the Police descend upon Billy's house. They search the woodshed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. The…

What part of the body goes to heaven first? In Sunday school, Sister Mary asked the class: ""What part of the body goes to heaven first?"" In the back of the class, nasty Billy waved his hand frantically, but Sister Mary, suspecting a wrong answer, turned to another child. ""Yes, Susan?"" ""The heart goes to heaven first because that's where God's love lives."" ""Excellent,"" said Sister Mary, ""and you, Charlotte?"" ""The soul, Sister Mary, because that's the part that lives beyond death."" ""V…

There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary littleboy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing,destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down tothe bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friendshuddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat.Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So he asked them,""What's the Purple Wombat?""""You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?"" the children ex…

There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down to the bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friends huddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat. Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So he asked them, ""What's the Purple Wombat?"" ""You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?"" the chil…

Billy was obsessed with tractors. Billy was obsessed with tractors. He grew up on a farm and ever since the very first moment he laid eyes on a tractor he thought they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His parents would take him for rides through the fields on their tractor and started buying him toy tractors to play with. As he grew up he drew pictures of tractors all the time, and collected photos of rare tractors to put up in his bedroom. He bought tractor magazines and joined t…

Billy's dead canary Billy's canary was dead lying on the bottom of his cage. Billy asked his Dad why when things die they lay on their back with their eyes closed and their legs in the air. His Dad told him it was so God could grab them by their feet and take them to heaven. A few days later when his Dad was pulling into the driveway after work, Billy came running out screaming ..."Daddy, Daddy..Mommy nearly died today !" "What happened ?" Asked Billy's Dad. "Well" said Billy " I came home from…

Little Billy forgot to do his science homework on insects... And his teacher was furious. "Right.", she said. "If you don't bring in a sheet filled with facts about insects by tomorrow, it's detention for you!" The next day, Little Billy arrives at his classroom early and tells the teacher that he didn't do his homework, but he has an amazing fact about spiders to show her instead. Billy's teacher is of course angry, but finds herself intrigued by what Billy could have. She agrees to let h…

A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven. The husband goes to his wife and asks her, “Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?” The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head. The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, “So who is Billy’s father?” “You.”

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle." "Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?" "Maybe it was a tricycle." "Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Bill…

Billy's mom comes home to see him crying... Billy

(NSFW) Why did Billy bring his cat to school today? ...asked Billy's father. Billy replied

Billy's dead canary Billy's canary was dead lying on the bottom of his cage. Billy asked his Dad why when things die they lay on their back with their eyes closed and their legs in the air. His Dad told him it was so God could grab them by their feet and take them to heaven. A few days later when his Dad was pulling into the driveway after work

Billy and his dad. Billy's dad walks into his room and says ""Billy

Why aren't you studying, Billy? Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

Little Johnny went over to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's mother answered the door. Little Johnny said: "Can Billy come and play war in the street with his friends?" Billy's mother replied: "You know Billy doesn't have any arms or legs." "I know," said little Johnny, "but we want to use him as a sandbag."

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.” The teacher was aghast a…