Teacher offers middle school students a monday absence. If.... ...Anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase. So Sarah raises her hand, and says ""The sky is definitely blue."" Teacher tells her: ""That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"" After some silence, Ted raises his hand. ""The grass is definitely green"", he declares. ""Now that's an excellent one!"" The teacher declares. ""But when it gets dry, or cold, the grass starts dying, and turns yellow or brown."" At this point, the class is stumped. While the students racked their brains, trying to get the answer to get Monday off school, Billy speaks up. ""Teacher, can I ask one question first?"" Teacher says yes. ""Mrs. Teacher, do farts have lumps?"" Surprised, she answers in the negative. ""Well then,"" says Billy, ""I definitely just shat my pants."" He gets up, clutching his rear. ""I'll see you Tuesday."" Edit: This hit the front. I guess I'll continue Billy's legacy, tomorrow. TLDR: MOAR JOKZ BOYZ