#brown

"Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist." It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Daisies are brown, I'm a terrible gardener.

The term "mentally ill" is reserved for white people. Brown people are called terrorists. Black people are called thugs.

Things Ted Cruz and I have in common: 1. Love butter 2. Shy eyes 3. Resurrected from the grave during satanic bloodmoon ritual 4. Brown hair

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who took a shit in my garden?

The Secret of the Red Shirt Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade. One day, the lookout shouted, ""Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!"". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, ""Boy, bring me my red shirt!"". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines. Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same…

I like my women like I like my peanut butter... Brown, chunky, and easy to spread.

Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces ""Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"" Doc Brown: ""Grate, Scott!""

Blonde walks into appliance store A blonde walks into an appliance store, a salesman approaches her and asks ""How may I help you?"" The blonde responds ""I'd like to buy this tv"" the salesman says ""sorry we don't sell to blondes"" furious the blonde leaves. A couple days later she dyes her hair Brown and goes back, the same salesman is there and says ""How may I help you?"" She replies ""I'd like to buy this tv"" again the salesman says ""sorry we don't sell to blondes"" again the blonde leav…

The Fair Young Damsel The fair young damsel was beautiful, but had no fashion sense. She wore a frilly green and purple dress with brown splotches and orange stripes. A dragon captured her, and she said, ""You're in trouble, dragon! Any minute a brave knight will come to slay you and rescue me."" The dragon just laughed. Many knights did come, but they took one look at her and rode off again. ""You see,"" said the dragon, ""I knew no knight would ever try to rescue a damsel in this dress.""

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which one? Black or brown? Interviewer: Black. Farmer: It eats grass. Interviewer: And the other one? Farmer: Grass. Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the ans…

I like my women like I like my bread.... Brown and with nuts

Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say ""please paint that wall, Jose""

Teacher offers Monday absence to the students in a middle school class ...If anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase. So Sarah raises her hand, and says ""The sky is definitely blue."" Teacher tells her: ""That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"" After some silence, Ted raises his hand. ""The grass is definitely green"", he declares. ""Now that's an excellent one!"" The teacher declares. "…

A dad brought a lie detector home . The lie detector that read Siegfried Sassoon war poems everytime it detected a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, ""So, you were at school today, right?"" Son: ""Yeah."" Detector: ""A dawn the ridge emerges massed and dun In the wild purple of the glow'ring sun, Smouldering through spouts of drifting smoke that shroud The menacing scarred slope; and, one by one, Tanks creep and topple forward to the wire. The barrage roars and lifts. Th…

Proper diaper fitting If the baby's legs turn blue, it's too tight, if they turn brown, it's too loose.

Teacher offers middle school students a monday absence. If.... ...Anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase. So Sarah raises her hand, and says ""The sky is definitely blue."" Teacher tells her: ""That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"" After some silence, Ted raises his hand. ""The grass is definitely green"", he declares. ""Now that's an excellent one!"" The teacher declares. ""But when i…

Roses are brown, violets are brown Who shit on my yard?!?

Ever hear of Henry, Santa's brown nosed reindeer? He is just as fast as Rodolph but couldn't stop as quickly.

Mr Bean bought a cow Do U Know Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow??? 2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Brown paper Kid Sheriff walks into the local saloon. There's your usual crowd of drunks, gamblers and travellers. He walks up to the bartender. ""I'm looking for the Brown paper Kid. Is there anybody by that name?"" The bartender points at a lanky young man slouched in the corner sitting at a table all by himself. The sheriff, his Spurs spinning menacingly, struts over across to him real slow. The man is dressed in brown paper trousers, brown paper shirt, brown paper kerchief and he's even got a…

Stop thinking that aliens are green! I mean seriously, I saw a few brown skinned Mexicans...

What's Brown & Rhymes With Snoop? Dr. Dre

A boy asks his dad Boy: Daddy why do we call Mr Brown, brown? Dad: Probably cause he poops brown. Boy: like Mr White I guess.

Jhon's Date Friend:Hey how was your date ... Jhon: Brown Friend:Did you kiss... Jhon:Yeahhhhhhhh Friend:Did you guyzzz have.......... Jhon:Yeh i ate it...... it was nice and big and juicy...you should have it too