#scott

I have a friend named Scott who still forwards chain emails. As soon as I figure out what to do w/ the body I'll be Scott-free.

A Russian, an Irishman and a Scott walks into a bar.. Just kidding. They never left the bar in the beginning

Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces ""Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"" Doc Brown: ""Grate, Scott!""

He was extremely nervous to have dinner with his girlfriends family He was sitting around the table with his girlfriend right next to him, her mother on the other side, her two siblings in the middle two seats, her father directly across from him at the head of the table, and the family dog, Spot, relaxed on the floor. All of a sudden the urge to fart hit him strongly. It was bad, if he even moved an inch to get up and use the restroom, there would be no stopping it. He began sweating profusely …

I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate, And the one that works at Nintendo.

Speeding Ticket A cop has pulled a man over for going 150 in a 60. Guy had a nice sports car and wanted to test it out, then tried to shake the cop when he saw he was being pulled over. As a lover of old sports cars, and being tired, the cop gave him an ultimatum. ""Look, it's the end of my shift. I'm ready to go home. I've completely gone through one book of tickets already today. If you can give me one good reason for why the hell you tried to run from me, I'll let you go scott free."" The man…

My three sons are gonna hate me... once I name them Prescott, Scott, and Postscott

Scott. Scott goes to a party Scott knocks on the door Scott is greeted by more popular kids Scott is excluded from the party Scott no friends

This is a really long one, but absolutely my favorite joke. There was this guy, Scott, who for all intents and purposes, was perfectly normal. A happy marriage, a great job and few worries. That was, until, he was diagnosed with leprosy. Now, this wasn't the ""quarantine you on a deserted island"" kind of leprosy, nor was it contagious in the least, but it did have the nasty habit of making parts of his body drop off at inopportune times. Suffice it to say, this made Scott rather depressed and…

""How was your golf game dear?"" asked Jack's wife Tracy. ""Well I was hitting pretty well but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."" ""You're seventy-five years old Jack!"" admonished his wife. ""Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"" ""But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore"" protested Jack. ""Yes but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you"" Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and …

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !

Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed and things were going hot and heavy. ""Slow down baby"" she said. ""Foreplay is an art."" ""You better get your canvas ready soon"" he panted ""because I'm about to spill my paint!""

A Brit, a Scott, and an Irishman... So a Britt, a Scott, and an Irishman walk into a bar. They all sit down and order their ales of choice. While they are talking, a fly dives into each of their ales. Disgusted, the Brit says, "Bartender a new ale please" and continues drinking his new ale. The Scott looks at the fly in his ale and couldn't be bothered and says, "Ah to hell with it" and drinks the whole thing, fly and all. When the Irishman notices his fly he pulls the fly out of the ale, viole…

MI6 is Hiring MI6 needed a new recruit, they had thousands of applicants. Needing only one person, they held multiple tests, and interviews, until they finally narrowed it down to these last three men, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman. The Chief of MI6 had one final test. A test that would surely be able to leave them with one man at the most. He invites the Englishman to a room, this room had two doors, one where they entered and another directly behind the chief. In the middle, be…

Two old people playing golf "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. ​ "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." ​ "But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" ​ "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. ​ "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out. &#x2…

A Russian an Irishman and a Scott walks into a bar..

How much money do terrible movies make? Ridley Scott. Thank you.

Aye dost ya know the difference betwixt a Scott and Scotch? A Scott tis a lad that can play the pipes. The Scotch is what makes it so that he canna.

An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub. Each orderd a pint of beer . Then a fly landed in each one's beer . The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one .The Scott took the fly out , shrugged, and drank his beer . The Irisman pinched the fly between his fingers and yelled " SPIT IT OUT! "SPIT IT OUT!"