#daniel

The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun.

Daniel Day-Lewis sent over 20 million emails to prepare for his role as LinkedIn

How do I know I'm not Daniel Day-Lewis?

Dad, who's Daniel Day-Lewis? *Dad peers out the blinds* He could be anyone, son. *Mom starts weeping* He could be anyone.

if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno

Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.

Totally thought I was on the phone with my mom for an hour today. Was Daniel Day Lewis the whole time. Damn he's good.

daniel radcliffe's family were just known as the cliffe's until his great grandfather invented the kick flip

[French restaurant] DANIEL: Promise me, not again MIYAGI: Promise. [raises hand] Garcon? [waiter comes] D: Don- M: [waves hand] Garcoff

BREAKING: Daniel on Facebook is worried about his account's privacy but Paul is all "that shit's a hoax dude!" More as this story develops.

Daniel Day-Lewis walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" but he already knows because he's also Daniel-Day Lewis.

"Be patient." - Mr Miyagi telling Daniel how to bang a nurse

How many mistakes can you find in this joke? So I was link surfing when I stopped to read this joke. Not only is it an awful joke, it's full of mistakes... which makes it funny(er). ------------ On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer. 'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger. '…

Why Can't Foster Kids Play Baseball? ""They Don't Know Where Home Is!"" Daniel , Reddit Clown

The teacher asks the class what should you do if a bear starts chasing you..... Daniel raise his hand and says: Run. Teacher: And what do you do if the bear runs faster? Daniel: Run faster! T: And what do you do if the bear runs even faster? D: Climb into a tree. T: And what do you do if the bear climbs after you? D: Climb higher! T: And what if the bear also keeps climbing? D: Jump down. T: And what if the bear jumps after you? D: Shoot it. T: And if the bear does not die? D: Shoot it again! T:…

Two boys, Nathaniel and Daniel, are captured by a madman. Daniel is sent into a room with a one way window that only Daniel could see through. On the other side, he saw his friend, Nate, with the madman. Nate looked very frightened but if they've learned anything together during their years of friendship is that they'll always make it out of bad situations. The madman finishes talking to Nate and walks out of the room, Nate adopting a relieved smile on his face. Then, the madman walks into the r…

I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate, And the one that works at Nintendo.

Why does Daniel love white vans? Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

what did the handsome highschool boy wear to school? a whole lot of DAAAAAMN DANIEL

Three gay men in a funeral home... The first sighs and says, ""My Daniel just loved adventure. I'm going to spread his ashes out of a plane so he can go all the places he never got to."" The second dries his eyes and says, ""My Richard loved fishing, so I'm going to spread his ashes at our favorite fishing hole."" The third nods his head, ""My Paul was a great lover. I'm going to mix his ashes in a bowl of chile so he can tear my ass up one more time.""

Daniel decides to open a camping supply business... A student named Daniel has just graduated college with a degree in business. His dream is to combine his love of the outdoors with his new knowledge and he decides to open a camping supply store. He decides that in order to stand out from the competition, he needs to do some things differently. He decides that at his store customers will be allowed to design their own tents and customize their camping gear. He even decides on a catchy name, ""Y…

Stop fapping. At 3 am Daniel wakes up and goes down stairs for a glass of water. On his way back up stairs he hears moaning noises from his sons bed. Daniel ignores it and goes back to bed to sleep. The next morning his son is down stairs and he has the ""talk"" with him. He tells his a son a lie that if he jacks off that he'll go blind! The sons says dad who are u talking to ? I'm over here.

KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? I'm I'm who? Hi Who, I'm Daniel

If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist   [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)

Daniel and Ginny are walking down the street one evening. As they pass one house, they hear loud shouting and crashes inside. Peter and Elizabeth Jones live there and are having a fierce argument. At the height of the quarrel, Peter picks up a table lamp, rips it out of the wall, and hurls it at Elizabeth. Elizabeth ducks, and the lamp flies past her through the window. It sails over Daniel and Ginny's heads. Daniel looks up and exclaims, ""Soft! What light through yonder window breaks!""