#peg

So a pirate walks into his favorite restaurant... ...and one of his friends comes up to him. His friend notices that he now has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye-patch, none of which he had before. The pirates friend approaches and says: ""Wow! You look different, where did you get that peg leg?' The pirate responds: ""Oh I was just at a battle at sea, when a cannonball from the enemy ship struck my leg, but the doctor put on the peg leg, now I'm fine. Then the friend asks: ""Well what about the hoo…

An intern's first day on a pirate ship... A pirate and his protege are together on a ship. The protege asks the pirate, ""Barnabus, how did you get that peg leg?"" The pirate replied ""I was in a rigorous battle, attempting to plunder another ship. Out of nowhere came a cannonball, and blew my leg square off!"" ""Well then, how did you acquire that hook?"" Barnabus explained, ""I was in an exciting sword fight with the famous blackbeard, and we had been going at it for hours, when he sliced off …

A Little Kid Sees a Pirate on the Beach... and walks up to him. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Intrigued, the kid asks, ""how come you've got that peg for a foot?"" The pirate responds, ""Aye, now that's a story. I was battlin' another ship with me crew, and a cannon ball flew straight toward me. Blew everythin' past me ankle clean off!"" ""Wow, "" the kid says. ""What about your hook for a hand?"" ""Same day as me leg, actually. Shortly after the cannon ball hit, a stray bu…

(Oldie) A city boy goes to visit his grandfather's farm in the country. A he was walking along the fields, he noticed something very odda pig, sitting under a tree, with a peg leg. Later, as he was eating dinner, he asked his grandpa: ""Hey, why does that pig out in the fields have a peg leg?"" ""Oh, Old Jim?"" his father replied. ""Well, that's a very special pig. Saved my life."" ""Oh, really?"" said the son, amazed. ""How?"" ""Well, it was this one night. Your grandmother had gone to bed, and…

Seaman and the Pirate A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the pirate, ""We were boardin…

[NSFWish] A boy was walking along the docks one day and came across a pirate ship... He looked up and admired, in complete amazement, the beauty of the massive ship with all of the details and marks of a real life pirate ship. As if this wasn't enough, the boy then noticed a man sitting by the ship with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. He went up to the man and asked, teeming with excitement, ""Excuse me sir, but is this your ship!?"" The old man replied, ""Why yes me boy,…

Daniel decides to open a camping supply business... A student named Daniel has just graduated college with a degree in business. His dream is to combine his love of the outdoors with his new knowledge and he decides to open a camping supply store. He decides that in order to stand out from the competition, he needs to do some things differently. He decides that at his store customers will be allowed to design their own tents and customize their camping gear. He even decides on a catchy name, ""Y…

Do you know how fast you were going? (actual conversation my friend had with a cop when we were teens) ""Son, Do you know how fast you were going?"" The cop said having pulled us over and moved to the driver's side of the car. ""No officer. The little peg stops it at 95.""

The pirate and the sailor A sailor walks into a bar and sees a pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand and an eye patch. His curiosity leads him to approach the pirate and ask, ""Why do you have a peg leg?"" ""I was washed overboard and a shark bit me leg off."" the pirate responds. ""Okay,"" says the sailor, ""but what about your hook hand?"" ""Me first mate tried to kill me with his sword but only got me hand instead."" ""Okay,"" says the sailor, ""but what about your eye patch?"" ""I was walking a…

A pirate with two peg legs walks into a bar... The bartender looks up from his newspaper and says ""you're cut off.""

A pirate come back from sea... He stops at the barber for a trim on his beard. The barber is aghast at the sight of the pirate. Barber : What happened to you??? When you left you were fine but now look at you!! Pirate: Whaddaya mean to say? Barber: You got a wooden leg now, when you left you had both legs... Pirate: Oh this? We were in a ship to ship battle and a cannonball got my leg, but the doc gave me this peg and I'm just fine. Barber: But you have a hook hand now, when you left you had bot…

What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend? Scissor me timbers

Seaman A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies ""I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off"". ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about the hook""? ""Well..."", replied the pirate, ""We were boarding an enemy ship and were bat…

A pirate walks into a bar..... He's got an eye patch, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. Strange thing is - He's got a ship's wheel stuffed halfway down the front of his pants. Before he can order, the bartender says, ""Mate, that looks mighty uncomfortable.... you've got a steering wheel shoved down your pants."" Pirate replies, ""Aye, It's driving me nuts!""

A young sailor is listening to an old pirate tell his stories... ...and notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. The young man asks the pirate, ""How did you get your peg leg?"" ""Well you see,"" says the pirate, ""I once got so rip, roaring drunk, that I stumbled and fell overboard. The crew scrambled to fish me out, and just as I was being lifted, a shark came and took a huge bite of me leg!"" The young sailor is impressed, and asks the pirate ""Well, how did you get you…

I never take risk while drinking When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen I stealthily enter the house Take out the bottle from my black cupboard Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame But still no one is aware of it Becoz I never take a risk I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink Quickly enjoy one peg Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard Shivaj…

A pirate at the local bar discusses his past. A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the p…

A private school dance... There are two private middle schools having a school dance together in on of the school's gyms. One is an all girls' school, and the other is an all boys' school. All of the kids are dancing in the middle of the school's gym and having a pretty good time...except for one girl with a peg leg and one boy with a wooden eye. After about a half an hour of standing on opposite sides of the gym, the boy finally musters up the courage to speak to the girl. The boy says to her "…

This was the first long joke I ever learned. Interview with a pirate. There was a pirate who had agreed to do an interview with a local tv station. The reporter was very courteous and professional, giving a bit of background as to the pirate's business. She then began interviewing him. ""So Mr. Longbeard, are there any risks to your business? I see you have a peg leg- how did that come about?"" ""Well, y'see I were sailing along the coast of South Africa, looking to plunder some locals when as I…

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. The seaman asks ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well..."", replied the pirate, ""While my men and I were p…

A soldier meets a pirate in a bar and after a few minutes the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. ""How did you end up with a peg leg?"" the soldier asks. The pirate replies, ""I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" says the soldier. ""What about your hook?"" ""Well,"" answers the pirate, ""we were boarding a ship when one of the enemies chopped off m…

Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says ""No no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again."" So the shop o…

How do you stop a dog smelling ? Put a peg on it's nose !

eer booze and fun!' 'A pirate was talking to a ""land-lubber"" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that like any self-respecting pirate this guy had a peg leg a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate ""How did you loose your leg?"" The pirate responded ""I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!"" His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked ""What about you hand. …