#nate

*she hears me singing in the shower* Her: oh he's so cute *she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out* Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO

definately - Used when absolutely certain a guy named Nate is involved.

*Friend is sinking in quicksand* Get help before I drown! *I start to run, stop, jog back to friend* Technically you're not drow- NATE!

Spoken jokes anyone? Some jokes work better when told. This subreddit seems to be void of any spoken jokes. So, what are some of your favorite jokes in video form? I can already imagine an hour long Nate the Snake joke.

So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his…

At the end of a one-way street is a lever that, when flipped, will end the world... A mailman drives there to deliver a package. He looks down at his watch for a second. When he looks up, there is a boy in the road. If the mailman were to swerve to avoid the boy, he would hit the lever and end the world. After frantic seconds of decision, he hits and kills the boy. Moral of the story? Better Nate than lever.

Two boys, Nathaniel and Daniel, are captured by a madman. Daniel is sent into a room with a one way window that only Daniel could see through. On the other side, he saw his friend, Nate, with the madman. Nate looked very frightened but if they've learned anything together during their years of friendship is that they'll always make it out of bad situations. The madman finishes talking to Nate and walks out of the room, Nate adopting a relieved smile on his face. Then, the madman walks into the r…

Nate the Snake So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day…

I see this hasn't been posted in a while, and it's too good not to repost. Plus it kills some time.(Loooooong) part 1 up top. rest is in comments. So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parent…

Nate So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, bu…

Nate the snake There's this civil engineer who has a dream of a super-interstate-highway running from Los Angeles to Washington DC. After years of lobbying, he finally is awarded a contract to construct a perfectly-flat, perfectly-straight 16-lanes-each-direction highway from Los Angeles to Washington. So he employs all the best surveyors, to make sure the highway is a perfect straight-line from LA to DC and to make sure it stays perfectly flat. He subcontracts with only the best construction cr…

When my dead English friend Nate pees on my newly grey-painted German grenades. My late mate Euro-nate urinated on my freshly greyed grenades, great!

Lost in the Desert. So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for …

I wasted my time on this so I thought I'd waste yours. (Too long for Reddit, split into comments) So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident…

A squad of American soldiers is stationed in Iraq. When an explosive device is found by the road, their job is to guard it and make sure it doesn't go off until an expert can arrive and disarm it properly. Their job is a boring one, so a young private named Benjamin gets a clever idea. He catches a poisonous snake, names him Nate, and trains Nate to be a ""guard snake."" When they are called in to guard a bomb, Nate is released near the weapon and his presence is enough to drive off any passers …

Lost in the Desert So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a…

A man named Nate So, once upon a time in a poor country there was an earthquake. A rock slid down a hill and crushed a town's well. Now the town could not get fresh water and wasn't going to be able to live long. So they tried to move the rock. They got the biggest tree they could find and tried to pry it up, but it didn't budge. Finally, on the second day with no water a man named Nate went to move the rock. He lifted it up with relative ease and moved it. Then the town had fresh water again. M…

Watch out for that snake A man named John lives in Texas near the Mexican border. He decides that life is, in fact, short, so he rents a Jeep to go offroading in the desert. Now John has been offroading for about two hours, when he goes over a dune at a bad angle, and rolls his Jeep onto the side. To his horror, one of the fuel lines was severed in the process, and he has lost all of the fuel in his tank. John pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, and unfortunately does not have any service. H…

Nate the Snake A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush. As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the lever. Just as he d…

So, there's a man crawling through the desert... He had decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but…

A boy named Nate. Once a long time ago there lived a boy named Nate. Nate lived is a small town that was across a ne'er traveled dirt road from a giant lever. No one in Nates village knew would tell him what this lever did with fear or scaring the young boy, all Nate was ever told, was to never, ever touch that lever. For if this lever was pulled, the entire world will end. Nate wondered day after day what this giant lever would do, and would often sit on the side of the road staring at it and w…

Once, there was a snake named Nathan. All of his friends, however, called him Nate. One day, Nate was slithering along the middle of the road, when he came across a large lever, placed directly in the middle of the road. On this large lever, someone had placed a sign that read, ""Do Not Pull Lever: THE WORLD WILL END!!!"" As Nate sat there, in the middle of the road, pondering the urgency created by using three exclamation points on the sign, there came a car speeding down the road. At the wheel…

Lost in the Desert-First half here, second in comments So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was ou…

[REQUEST] Your favorite long, maybe a bit TOO long, but worth it joke. Every day I read the bounty of /jokes, and maybe once a month I see a new one. It fills me with such joy. Also, I work with this amazing fellow who tells these 20 minute jokes, and I am almost out of return-fire ammunition. See, I love long jokes, story jokes, and there seems to be a paucity of them around here. Not just Shaggy Dog stories, feghoots and the like, but nicely crafted slammers. I'd link some examples, but they'r…

Lost in the Desert [Part 1] So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the …