#bruce

What kind of donuts will Bruce never eat again? Krispy Kreme.

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex? A Krismas goose.

When Bruce decides to do stand-up, what will his stage-name be? Penny Bruce

How does Bruce Wayne's mom call Bruce in for dinner... She can't she's dead

Bruce the Aussie bloke walks into a dusty old bar deep in the outback. To everyone's surprise he has a five meter salty -- a crocodile -- on a leash. ""Roit!"" he exclaims. ""I'll bet everyone here that I can have my mate here"" -- gesturing to the crocodile -- ""clamp down on my donger for a full minute. If I do it, everyone has to buy me a beer."" The bar patrons look around at each other, and finally shrug their agreement. So Bruce drops his trousers, and immediately the crocodile clamps down…

Bruce Jenner's Gender. . . Is turning into a real Brucehaha

BRUCE JENNER CHANGE OVER WHEN BRUCE JENNER FINISHES HIS CHANGE OVER IN BECOMING A WOMAN, OUT OF CURIOSITY (WINK WINK) I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW BIG HIS ASS IS GOING TO BE

A Backbreaking Batman? The Movie. The story begins when Bane makes himself public to Gotham City on a news station (CNN). Bruce, snarly gets out of his chair and heads to the batcave within his minor residents. Then he suits up to confront this diabolical madman. Batman then felt a cold essential on his shoulder until BANE comes out from THE SHADOWS AND PLUMBLES the Batman Battaman! Batman: Ahh! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Brokeback Batman: The Movie. No seriously it's a Bane breaks Batman's back thing …

Bruce Springsteen... after a long successful life finally dies and goes to Heaven. St Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and says, ""Bruce! We're so glad you're finally here! God's a big fan, you know."" Bruce, of course, is flabbergasted. ""Really?"" ""You bet! In fact, he's arranged to have the whole E Street Band reunited up here for you."" ""The old band? That's great! I've missed those guys so much."" ""Not only that,"" St Peter goes on, ""there's a bunch of other guys who can't wait to ja…

Patrick and Bruce Patrick Bateman and Bruce Wayne are having a business lunch together. Suddenly, Bruce senses something is wrong, and looks at his watch. ""Sorry to be so rude, but I've got to Bale"".

The carnival is in town so Bruce invites Garry to spend a romantic warm summer evening with him wandering around the attractions. Bruce wins a Cupie doll and gives it to Garry. They eat corndogs and cotton candy and both of them are thinking this is the best night of my life. Then they come across the giant ferris wheel and Garry says ""lets go on that big wheel it's my all time favourite ride in the world."" Bruce says ""I'm so sorry, I'm afraid of heights I can't go on that wheel, but you go a…

A new remake of Titanic features Bruce Willis. Bruce saves everyone.

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference. Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: ""In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate."" Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: ""In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud."" Hans steps up next: ""In Germany ve invented das beer, verdamt. Give me ei…

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bruce ! Bruce who ? I Bruce easily don't hit me !

Typical vaguely racist bar joke [xpost r/forwardsfromgrandma] At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference. Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate." Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud." Hans steps up…

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Bruce the Aussie Bruce the Aussie bloke walks into a dusty old bar deep in the outback. To everyone's surprise he has a five meter salty -- a crocodile -- on a leash. "Roit!" he exclaims. "I'll bet everyone here that I can have my mate here" -- gesturing to the crocodile -- "clamp down on my donger for a full minute. If I do it, everyone has to buy me a beer." The bar patrons look around at each other, and finally shrug their agreement. So Bruce drops his trousers, and immediately the cro…

Joke from my daughter. What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato? HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

Alfred : Master Bruce, Quess Who I Saw Today? Bruce Wayne : Who? Alfred : Not Your Parents. Bruce Wayne : Why You're Doing This Alfred? Alfred : They Told Me To Bruce Wayne : Who? Alfred : Not Your Parents.

Can anyone use the word "contagious" in a sentence? Julia raises her hand. “Yes, Julia?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.” “Very good, Julia!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Shazza raises her hand. “Yes, Shazza?” She answers, “My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He says yawning is contagious.” “Excellent work, Shazza! Very creative…

Priest and Pilot A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?' The guy replies, 'I' m Bruce, retired airline pilot from Toronto.' Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pil…

The Hitch hiker Bill was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a fierce rain storm. The night was rolling on, and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him. Suddenly through the swirling rain Bill saw a car slowly coming towards him and as it drew level with him, it stopped. Desperate for shelter and without really thinking about what he was doing, Bill got into the back seat of the car and closed the door. …

Here’s my cake day joke Me: Bruce and I are teaming up for a 3 member mission and are looking for a second person. Would you like to join us? Them: Uhh... do you mean a third person? Me: Bruce is 3rd person, I is first person, you is second person

If I were Bruce Banner’s son, the Incredible Hulk wouldn’t exist “I’m not angry…I’m just disappointed”

A modern day ghost story Bill was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a fierce rain storm. The night was rolling on, and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him. Suddenly through the swirling rain Bill saw a car slowly coming towards him.  And as it drew level with him, it stopped. Desperate for shelter and without really thinking about what he was doing, Bill got into the back seat of the car and closed …