← Back to all jokes

#second-person

Jokes

The Oreo Joke This is a two part joke that is best told by two people in a social setting. The first person has to be willing to bomb a joke while the second person comes in later with the second part and saves the joke. **Part one** (make sure you open with a good joke or two then close with this first part and be excited about it) : An oreo delivery man is driving his truck on a road along the beach. After a while he hears *Rap! rap! rap!* on his window. He rolls down his window and sees an or

0
Permalink →

3 people were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean The first person is missing his family. His wife just had his son and he misses him very much. The second person is also sad because he had just got married yesterday. The third person however, can do nothing but smile. All of a sudden, a lamp falls out of the sky and onto the hands of the first person. Person 2: a lamp! Maybe there's a genie in it! Rub it! Person 1 rubs it and a genie emerges from the lamp! Genie: Thank you for freeing me

0
Permalink →

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, ""I want to be gorgeous."" God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he l

0
Permalink →

Three explorers are captured by a local tribe. And the elder tells them we are going to kill you, skin you, and make canoes from your skin. But first we are going to give you a chance. Each of you may request one item from your supplies and we will give you a 1 hour head start before sending out our hunting party. The first person asks for his gun. After an hour the hunting party sets out and 3 hours later some shots are heard, but by the end of the day, the first man is hauled back into the tow

0
Permalink →

Stuck on an island... **Not my joke, but we had so much fun with this one.** One day 3 people were stuck on an island with cannibals. the cannibals said, ""if you do what we say, we wont kill you"". so the 3 people followed the orders the cannibals. So the cannibals said, ""go into the forest and pick 10 fruits of the first fruit you see"". So the first person came back out of the forest with 10 apples. the cannibals said, ""put the apples up your ass without making a facial expression"". The pe

0
Permalink →

one big peice of fish and one small peice of fish. There are two polite people having dinner together. On the table, there is a dish with one big peice of fish and one small peice of fish. They politely say to one another: ""You maychoose first."" ""No, you may choose first."" And this goes on for a while. Then the first person says: "" OK, I'll take first."" And he takes the big price of fish. The second person: ""Why did you take the big Peice? That's not polite!"" The first person says: ""Whi

0
Permalink →

Three loonies There were three loonies in an asylum. Their doctor said that they can go after looking after an animal each, they need to find out more about the animal. The first person gets a dog, the second gets a cat and the third gets two spiders in a matchbox. A week passes. The first person comes back and tells the doctor about the dog, the loony says ""it's great company, likes to eat meat and barks a lot."" He was then released. The second person comes back with the cat and says ""it lik

0
Permalink →

3 people and a sadist are on an Island. The sadist tells everyone to find a fruit and return back at sunset. The first person brings back cherries, the sadist says ""If you want to live, stick it up your butt. If you make a noise, I will kill you, if you don't, you will live"". The first person does but he fails to keep quiet. He dies. The second person brings back an apple, and the same thing happens to him, but he makes a noise before it goes in. The third person comes back to find the other t

0
Permalink →

Gandhi and two other people go to Heaven... Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they're really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says, ""I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car'll depend on how many kids you had when you were alive."" The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies, ""Well, that's not too many."" And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates. The second person says that he had

0
Permalink →

A bus full of ugly people get in an accident They all died and went to heaven. God felt bad for all of these people and decided to give them all one wish. They all stood in line and the first person thought for a moment. Then the first person decided, I've spent my whole life ugly I wish to be beautiful. So god snaps his fingers and made him beautiful. The second person thought that was a great idea decided she too wanted to be beautiful. God snaps his fingers and made her beautiful. The next 3

0
Permalink →

Three nuns, a postulant, a novitiate, and the mother superior, are driving and get in a car wreck. All three die and go to heaven. Before St. Peter lets them in, he says that to get into heaven, you have to answer one question. He looks to the postulant and says, ""because you're the youngest you get the easiest question. Who was the first human ever created by God?"" The postulant gives a sigh of relief and says, ""Thats easy, obviously it was Adam."" St. Peter opens the gates for her and respo

0
Permalink →

A bus full of ugly people goes off the road There are no survivers. The entire bus congregation is instantly teleported to the pearly gates, having been already admitted into heaven. At the gates, a booming voice says ""before entering the kingdom of heaven, you are each permitted one wish"" So the first ugly person steps forth and the voice asks ""what is your wish?"" To which the person replies ""make me beautiful"" and it happens. The second person wishes the same thing, and the third, and th

0
Permalink →

George Washington and two other people go to Heaven... Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they're really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says, ""I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car'll depend on how many kids you had when you were alive."" The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies, ""Well, that's not too many."" And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates. The second person says t

0
Permalink →

Two men meet in the hell. One of them asked the other - ""How did you die?"" ""Cold. What about you?"", the other guy replied. ""I killed myself because I doubted by faithful wife"", first guy replied. He added, ""One night when I returned home from work, I heard some voice other than my wife at the door. I doubted my wife and searched everywhere in the house but could not find anyone. So full of guilt I killed myself"". ""Had you opened the refrigerator, our both lives could have been saved"" -

0
Permalink →

Went to the doctors the other day.. Went to the doctors the other day. Get into the surgery when his phone rings. Doc said ""I gotta go. Look after the surgery for me while I'm gone. Don't worry, there's only 3 more patients, it won't take long. I'll be back in 15 minutes."" And off he goes. When he comes back, he asks ""How did it go?"" ""First person came in - headache. I said 'Take paracetamol.'"" ""Well done."" Said the Doc. ""Second person came in - Indigestion. I said 'Take gaviscon.'"" ""

0
Permalink →

Murder There were three european men going to America. they didn't know english so they each went to a place. the first person went to a football game and learned yes. the second person went to a resturant and learned forks and knives. the third man went to a candy shop and heard a little kid yell he stole my lollipop! they all found a dead body when a police officer came up and said did you kill this man? the first man said yes. the cop asked what did you do it with? the second man said forks a

0
Permalink →

Three men died in a car accident. So they ascended into heaven and stood in front of St Peter. "" After I let you in, there will be three room. Each of you will be assigned to one room."" Said St Peter, ""in the room, there will be a clock that determines how smart you are. The slower it goes, the wiser you are."" So the three man happily walked into their room. The first man walked into the room and look at the clock. After an hour, the clock didn't move at all. He was very happy to know that h

0
Permalink →

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli

0
Permalink →