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Classic from Middle School George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman are riding together on an airplane. They get to talking about how they want to be remembered. Lincoln says ""I'd like to help the poor, so I'll throw a penny with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" He throws a penny out the plane window. Washington then says ""I, too, want to help the poor, but I want to give more, so I'll throw a quarter with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" Truman fina

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Back around 1800... A very patriotic American goes to visit England. The locals listen to his accent and determine he's from America. At hotel where he's staying, there's only one outhouse to use, and the locals hang up a portrait of George Washington on the inside, thinking he would be offended. However, they watch as he goes in, and then comes out laughing. When they ask him why he's laughing, and he says: ""Figures that George Washington can scare the shit out of any Englishman faster than an

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Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump. Franklin turns to Trump and says: ""I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."" Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: ""Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!"" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on the bill. ""Now leave me alone!"" Franklin scoffs at the gesture and walks out the bar. Washington is shocked and loudly e

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An American man is having dinner with a British family The man says, ""I need to use the bathroom."" The family shows him the way. While in the bathroom he sees a painting of George Washington. Anyways, he finishes using the bathroom and heads back. He sits at the table. The family, eager to know about what the man thought of the placement of the painting ask him about it. He says, it's good, and when the family asks why he says, ""Nothing will make a British man shit faster than the sight of Ge

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It was Donald Trump's first day in office, and he had no clue what to do... He decided to call upon the ghosts of previous great presidents to ask for their advice. ""What do I have to do to become a great president?"" Trump asked the ghost of George Washington. ""You must never tell a lie,"" Washington responded. Trump scoffed. ""No way! do you really expect me to do that? You're useless Washington."" The ghost vanished, only to be replaced by the spirit of Thomas Jefferson. ""What must I do to

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A young Gujrati boy named Jignesh starts attending public school in a small town in United States. The teacher of the school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks a question and the student to give correct answer gets $50 prize. She asks the class, ""Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"" A girl raises her hand and says, ""I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country."" The teacher replies, ""Well.

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BUSINESS IS BUSINESS A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, ""Who was the greatest man that ever lived?""A girl raises her hand and says, ""I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country."" The teacher replies, ""Well...that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for.""Another y

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Donation Request ----SENT FROM FORMER 3 STAR GENERAL, FORMER SENATOR, ROBERT WINGLASS ( AND CLASSMATE ) Dear Friends: I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton. We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces. We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed

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On board the U.S. Navy carrier USS George Washington... the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidently left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, ""That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."" The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, ""Be vewy, vewy quiet. We are hunting submawenes.""

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A Story if Trump Wins The Election Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election. The first night was packed full of activities and tours of the White House. Trump finally got to his room and was falling asleep in his new bed and saw the ghost of George Washington appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him, ""President Washington, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"" George thought for a moment and said to Trump, ""President Trump, he sai

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A American man is having dinner with a British family... The man says, ""I need to use the bathroom."" The family shows him the way. While in the bathroom he sees a painting of George Washington. Anyways, he finishes using the bathroom and heads back. He sits at the table. The family, eager to know about what the man thought of the positioning of the painting ask him about it. He says, it's good, and when the family asks why he says, ""Nothing will make a British man shit faster than the sight o

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