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#thomas-jefferson

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It was Donald Trump's first day in office, and he had no clue what to do... He decided to call upon the ghosts of previous great presidents to ask for their advice. ""What do I have to do to become a great president?"" Trump asked the ghost of George Washington. ""You must never tell a lie,"" Washington responded. Trump scoffed. ""No way! do you really expect me to do that? You're useless Washington."" The ghost vanished, only to be replaced by the spirit of Thomas Jefferson. ""What must I do to

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A Story if Trump Wins The Election Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election. The first night was packed full of activities and tours of the White House. Trump finally got to his room and was falling asleep in his new bed and saw the ghost of George Washington appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him, ""President Washington, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"" George thought for a moment and said to Trump, ""President Trump, he sai

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Osama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven . . . . . . . . So he's waiting at this gate when all of a sudden, George Washington comes out. ""You attacked the country I helped found!"" and beats the crap out of him. Then he goes back inside and Thomas Jefferson comes out. ""You hate the Declaration of Independence that I wrote!"" And beats the ever-loving shit out of him. Then he goes back inside. The James Madison comes out. ""You son-of a bitch . . .""and starts beating Osama some more. ""Oh Merci

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Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long..... The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, ""How can I best serve my country?"" Washington says, ""Never tell a lie."" ""Ouch!"" Says Hillary, ""I don't know about that."" The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, ""How can I best serve my country?"" Jefferson says, ""Listen to the people."" ""Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."" On

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One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. ""George what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"" Clinton asked. ""Set an honest and honorable example just as I did"" advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. ""Tom what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"" Clinton asked. ""Cut taxes and reduce the size of government"" advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night and s

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In an 3rd grade American class room... The teacher is discussing U.S. presidents. "Who gave the Gettysburg Address?" she asked the class. Immediately a hand shot up belonging to a female Japanese foreign exchange student. "Yes?" the teacher asked. "Abraham Lincoln! 1863!" replied the girl proudly. "That's correct," said the teacher, "Now can anyone tell me who wrote the Declaration of Independence?" Again the Japanese girl's hand shot up. This time the teacher waited to see if anyone else

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Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie." She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of Thomas Jefferson resp

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Hillary Clinton is elected President. On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady), she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Washington replies "Serve your country selflessly and always be honest" *Hillary laughs in his face* On her second day in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Jefferson replies "Remember that governments derive t

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