#bill-clinton

I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.

I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang

"Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night

Bill Clinton is so getting laid tonight. Hillary is in Indonesia.

Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, "the ablest person I've ever worked with." Well, I can see why he's a hit with the ladies.

What is one thing... That Bill Clinton failed at? *Domestic affairs*

Yesterday, Bill Clinton endorsed Newt Gingrich's immigration policy Today he's endorsing Herman Cain's domestic policy.

Bill Clinton is not a rapist. He just likes to ""feel your pain"".

Where was Bill Clinton during his presidency? He was right between the Bushes.

Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful.

Kids first day at school! It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no res…

If hillary wins, trump supporters can at least take solice in 1 fact. Bill clinton is going to be the first lady.

Apparently Bill Clinton is so sure that Hillary is going to win that he stopped at the tobacco store and bought a box of cigars. He has interviews scheduled for his new interns all day.

Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky ""You up?""

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade... The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandr…

Indian student's first day in US School It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: Chandrasekhar :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the Peo…

The teacher said.. Let's begin by reviewing some history. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death!'? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ""Patrick Henry, 1775,"" he said. ""Very good! ""Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth!'?"" Again, no response except from Little Akio: ""Abraham Lincoln, 1863."" ""Excellent!"" said the teacher continuing. ""Le…

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade... The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandr…

Computers seized from Wiener prompt new FBI investigations. In her defense, Bill Clinton said it's not the first time she was betrayed by a Wiener.

Bill Clinton and The Pope Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. Due to a minor clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven. When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn't swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven. The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked t…

THAT SMILE A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"" He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across.""

First Pitch or ... One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, ""You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch.""

What is the only reason Bill Clinton is excited about possibly going back into the White House? He gets more interns.

The Clintons were driving around Bill's home town A couple of years after Bill Clinton had left office he and Hillary were driving around his hometown in Arkansas. There at a gas station they saw a man who worked there pumping gas who was about the same age as Bill. Playfully Bill asked Hillary what her life would have been like if she married that guy instead of him. Hillary turned to him coldly and said, ""that man would have been president and you would still be pumping gas. ""

Obama : The people are worried Hillary is not focused.... How is her head currently??? Bill Clinton: Well she's no Monica... But she's good.