#monica-lewinsky

ITT: Jokes that would have killed at a party in 1998. I'll start us off: What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? They both have a slot that says ""insert bill here.""

What do Monica Lewinsky and the New York Giants have in common? They were both terrorized by Clinton Dix, Ha Ha.

What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House?? Put Monica Lewinsky in there. She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now.

Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky ""You up?""

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade... The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandr…

A young gay man calls home... and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, ""I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?"" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she's from a w…

Indian student's first day in US School It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: Chandrasekhar :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the Peo…

The teacher said.. Let's begin by reviewing some history. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death!'? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ""Patrick Henry, 1775,"" he said. ""Very good! ""Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth!'?"" Again, no response except from Little Akio: ""Abraham Lincoln, 1863."" ""Excellent!"" said the teacher continuing. ""Le…

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade... The teacher said, ""Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandr…

Why is Monica Lewinsky voting for Donald Trump? Because a Clinton left a very bad taste in her mouth.

THAT SMILE A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"" He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across.""

Monica Lewinsky just turned 43 It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House

We all know how Bill cheated on Hillary with Monica Lewinsky. Well, did you hear that Hillary cheated on Bill with somebody named Ben Ghazi?

Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills

Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year? Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

If Clinton wins presidency, who will be First Lady? Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton ""doesn't suck.""

Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister? Monica Lewinsky swallowed them.

What do Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton have in common? They blew a seal.

Why won't Monica Lewinsky be voting for Hillary? Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.

I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton... ...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor? He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

Why are so many people caucusing for Hillary Clinton... They were inspired by Monica Lewinsky.

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says ""i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."" The dry cleaner responds ""come again?"" Monica says ""nope, this time it's mustard.""