#arnold

BOSS: why are you so late? ME: i definitely wasnt up until 4am watching Hey Arnold ha-ha BOSS: well i was and i got here on time

*sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"

lets modernize Hey Arnold fellas this will be hilarious... Hey Ackbar! "move it towelhead"

well its a strange request "pleease" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah

The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face.

Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to "Hey Arnold"

Arnold schwarzenegger recently decided to go back into the movie business... But being fed up with his trademark macho image he chose to do something different and went to a casting for a movie based on the life and story of famous classical composers. **** **** When asked what role he was going for, Arnie leaned forward, looked right into the producers eyes and said ""i'll be Bach"".

Arnold Schwarzenegger opens his own shopping mall. A customer left her purse on the counter after a purchase. Seeing the customer is nearing the exit of the mall, Arnold handed the purse to the nearest cashier. ""GET TO THE SHOPPER, NOW!""

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Steven Seagal decide to make and star in a movie about famous composers... Bruce: ""Okay guys, let's decide which musicians we'd like to portray"" Seagal: ""Well, I guess I'll play Beethoven if you guys think that works"" Stallone: ""that seems like a good fit. I think I'll be Mozart."" Willis: ""Sounds good so far. I'd like to portray Brahms."" *Stallone turns towards Schwarzenegger* ""Hey Arnold, have you decide who you want to play?…

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …

Arnold's woes One day Arnold decided that he wanted to woo his dream lady with his musical talents. He visited a music school and tried out various instruments but nothing seemed right. The instructor then said: listen Arnold, come back tomorrow and think about who you want to be like. Arnold said: I will be Bach!

If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor.

Arnold Schwarzenegger joins an improv troupe. Arnold Schwarzenegger joins an improv troupe, to partake in some low-profile, low-pressure acting. On his first night on board, the first scenario is a meeting of famous classical composers from throughout history. ""Let's plan our roles before we go on stage,"" says the troupe leader. ""I'll be Mozart."" ""I'll be Vivaldi,"" says a member. ""I'll be Handel,"" says another. ""What about you, Mr. Schwarzenegger?"" says the leader slyly. ""What role wo…

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite kind of jacket? A Pullover!

Shoes Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. ""Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?"" Arnold asked. ""Not very likely,"" his wife said. ""It's worth a try,"" Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, h…

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house? Because he is an ex-Terminator.

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers... They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play. Sean Connery says ""I would shertainly like to play Moshart."" Sylvester Stallone says ""Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."" And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says ""I'll be Bach.""

GRANBY ZOO ape escape An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring for animals, had had no experience whatever in rounding th…

The Queen Elizabeth doesn't have one. The Pope has one, yet he does not use it. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, and Brad Pitt's is small. What am I talking about? A last name, you pervs.

Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to a Halloween party. The theme is ""Dead Classical Composers""... When asked who he'll dress up as, Arnold says, ""I'll be Bach.""

Austria, mid-1950s Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied ""I'll be Bach!""

If y is dependent upon x, that means y is determined by x. So we could call y the determinant. If that's true, then we can call x Arnold... because it's de-terminator. Heh.

Chuck, Jean Claude and Arnold. Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, ""If you were a musician, who would you be?"". Chuck Norris said, ""I would be Motzart."" Jean Claud VanDam said, ""I would be Bethoven."" Arnold said, ""I'll be Bach!""

Halal sounds a lot like Arnold swartzenegger greeting someone.

So there's this Norwegian monk who grows carrots. He is world renowned for his carrots. They are known to be the juiciest, most delicious carrots on the face of the earth. He spends a large amount of his time in his garden, caring for his carrots. Well one day, while he is in said garden caring for his carrots, a theif jumps over the fence and steals 2 carrots. He looks up and makes eye contact with the monk, almost as if to say ""hey... i've got your carrots"". He then quickly turns and starts …