#arnold

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie? I'll be Bach.

So Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf... They walk up to par three with water in front, and Jesus looks to Moses and asks, ""What club do you think we should use?"" Moses thinks a moment and replies, ""Well Arnold Palmer used a 7 iron last time he was there, guess that puts us at about a 5 iron."" Jesus scoffs. ""If Arnold can reach with a 7, I can reach with a 7."" He lines up his shot and proceeds to launch the ball directly into the lake. ""Told you,"" said Moses. He then lined up a …

The Terminator I was talking with my good friend Arnold about what he was going to be for Halloween this year. It surprised me to hear that he intended to dress up as a composer. When i asked him which one he looked dead into my eyes and said ""I'll be Bach.""

Arnold Schwarzenegger's computer Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 8, he replied: ""I still love Vista, baby""

A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the lives of famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asks Sylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallone thinks for a moment and says, ""I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."" The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'd like to play. Arnold replies, ""I'll be Bach!""

When Arnold says the line ""I'll be back"" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby Quebec a community south of Montreal established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions Arnold an Indonesian ape escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo while expert at caring for animals had no experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing them. The …

Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnold ! Arnold who ? Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. ""How much will it cost?"" asked Arnold. ""About $4500"" said the owner. ""What a relief!"" exclaimed Arnold. 'I've finally got job security!""

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

One day in math... ...we got two new transfer students. They were twins named Ving and Ling who had moved in from Korea. I sat next to Ving during class and I got to know him pretty well. We liked the same books, movies, games, you name it! At the end of the quarter, we had a huge unit exam, it was about 30% of our grade. Luckily, Ving let me copy off of him on one condition, I take him to get his name changed after school. The guy absolutely despises his name, he thinks it sounds too stereotyp…

Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger So one day, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were sitting together in a bar, kicking back, drinking a few brews, talking about life and talking about the roles they'd played in movies. As the three men talked, each was surprised to realize that all three of them had grown tired of playing the action hero- shooting the bad guys, pulling off life-threatening stunts, and getting the girl in the en…

Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10 Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10. His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'

So there's this school play... Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet. Stallone goes first. "I'll be Mozart" Next up is Chuck Norris. "I'll be Beethoven". Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Sylvester Stallone meets up with Jean Claude van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger at a pub. They get a round of drinks in and sit down at a table. “Thanks for coming guys” says Sly. “I’ve had this great idea for a movie about famous 18th Century composers and I wondered if you guys wanted in? I’m planning on playing Beethoven.” “I love the idea” says van Damme. “I’ve always wanted to portray Mozart”. “Yeah, I’m in” says Lundgren. “Cast me as Handel”. “What about you Arnold?” …

Arnold Schwarzenegger opens his own shopping mall. A customer left her purse on the counter after a purchase. Seeing the customer is nearing the exit of the mall Arnold handed the purse to the nearest cashier.

What did the former governor of California say after he helped the old lady cross the street? I'm Arnold to assist you.

Two old ladies were discussing their husbands. One said: "I do wish George would stop biting his nails. It's such a horrible habit." Her friend said: "My Arnold used to do the same. But I eventually cured him of the habit." "How did you do that?" "I hid his teeth!" I did a gig at an old people's home. Tough crowd. They wouldn't respond to my knock-knock jokes until I showed ID. Frank Skinner