#chuck-norris

When Chuck Norris is pulled over, cops show him their IDs

My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes

When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding.

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday 13th.The next day he won the lottery

Chuck Norris tries this at home.

The Texas Rangers made it to the World Series? I didn't even know Chuck Norris had a baseball team.

A guy calls his girlfriend on the phone.. - Boyfriend: Sweetie, do you know how much I love you? - Girlfriend: How much baby? - Boyfriend: I would go thru fire, swim in the ocean full of sharks, climb all the mountains, survive in the desert like Bear Grylls, fight with bears and lions, even fight with Chuck Norris and all of the expendables cast if I have to, just to see your beautiful smile.. - Girlfriend: Aawww, you're so sweet! Why don't you come over? - Boyfriend: How about tomorrow baby, i…

Chuck Norris There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris. It was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris ran the 100 meters sprint And lapped Usain Bolt..........twice

Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger. He still has it.

Chuck Norris Some people think the glass is half full. Some people think it is half empty. Chuck Norris sees scotch.

I want some Chuck Norris jokes! Something like: *Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.* or *Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.*

Man didn't invent the wheel It invented itself after seeing Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris threw an impact grenade and killed one hundred people. Then the grenade blew up.

Chuck Norris died a few hours ago. Don't worry, he's fine now.

Chuck Norris launch a bomb. It makes 263 deaths, and the bomb explode.

Legend say, Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice... Donald Trump tried to count to 10 and got stuck in a paper bag.

2016 has done the impossible It claimed the life of Chuck Norris. ""Carlos Ray ""Chuck"" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance.""

Chuck Norris, the actor, film producer and screenwriter died in his house today at 76 years of age He is now feeling much better and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance

Chuck Norris threw a grenade Chuck Norris threw an grenade and killed 30 people. Then the grenade exploded.

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers... Bruce Willis says ""I'll be Mozart"", Chuck Norris says ""I'll be Beethoven"" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""I'll be Bach"".

Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet? Because he can't bring himself to click the ""submit"" button.

Lance Armstrong and Chuck Norris had a contest to see who had more balls... Chuck Norris won by three.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: ""What is courage?"" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …