#chuck-norris

Chuck Norris was at an interview ... And he ended up giving the guy head but didn't give him the job.

Chuck Norris strikes again Chuck Norris has counted the number of atoms in the universe... **thrice**

Chuck Norris and the king cobra 2 guys are in a bar, and one of them said: guy1: have you heard about Chuck? guy2: Nah, what happened? guy1: He got bitten by a kind cobra! guy2: What?!?!...what happened next?! guy1: After five days of struggling and pain, the cobra died!

Chuck Norris can't fly... But he does it anyway.

I don't understand why ISIS is such a big deal. All we have to do is parachute in Chuck Norris, and within a month they will all be dead... It can't be done faster since he fights with his bare hands.

Why do all Pirates wear eye patches? Chuck Norris.

The NSA doesn't monitor your browsing Chuck Norris listens to your key strokes.

What is the irrational fear of Chuck Norris otherwise known as? A completely rational fear.

He is everywhere. *In chatroom about chuck norris* User3456: ""Man Chuck Norris sucks balls!"" User6786: ""Careful about what you say man.. he hears and sees everything. I bet he is standing right behind you as we speak."" User3456: ""Yeah right!, what is he gonna do? smash my head on the keyboat90u7yytuy09yttrdy6u79;rtd231tgrhzc/;23"" User6786: ""Are you still there?"" User3456: *went offline*

Chuck Norris isn't real... If he had been real, he would've come here and probably smash my head on my keyboarjfjcjcndndjxucbfjdi oejebhh jdudyehsbsj

Did you hear? Chuck Norris moved to Endor He became an Ewok'er Texas ranger.

Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.

How much Norris? (Tongue twister) How much Norris could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris once went sun-bathing... ...but unfortunately there were no towels available on the sun.

Chuck Norris already counted up to the infinite... Two times.

Chuck Norris was at the Homerun Derby He pitched a no hitter!

Birthday Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun

Billy Mays so good He once sold pain to Chuck Norris.

*REQUEST* Anyone know any good ""show me a ..."" jokes? These used to be sort of popular, and I can only find this as an example: ""Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to 'Pull my Finger'"". I think this sub can do better than that. Does anyone out there have some good ""show me a..."" jokes?! :)

Chuck Norris was born May 6th 1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7th 1945.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush, he scares the crap out of it.

Thought of a Chuck Norris joke today. This user no longer exists.

Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted.

Chuck Norris joke: Alexander Bell invented the telephone. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Why does Chuck Norris play cowbell? Because he beats time!