#lee

General Lee didn't have kids? A parent Lee not.

Lee decides that he wants to find his place in the intricacy of the universe, and leaves his family to become a Buddhist monk... He treks for days into the mountains, before finding a monastery, hundreds of miles from civilization. He enters the monastery, and bowing before the lama, requests to become a monk. The lama accepts, but on one condition; he must only speak two words every five years. Still determined as ever, Lee accepts, and begins his career as a Buddhist monk. That night, Lee is s…

In Harry Potter I wonder if Sirius Black's middle name is Lee...

11 terrible Dwayne Johnson Puns What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson plays guitar? Punk Rock. What do you call it when he falls over? Rock and Roll. Did you hear Dwayne Johnson loves honesty? He's a tooth fairy. Jokes about him... Rock Dwayne Johnson's favorite movie: Rocky How do you always beat him in RPS? Keep throwing paper How did Dwayne Johnson get to space? A ROCKet. Who is his favorite Naruto character? Rock Lee. Dwayne Johnson is friends with Toph. They have a ROCKy relationship. How…

Mr. Lee Wong was a fisherman. He was a kind, honest, and generous person. He recently hired a man to help him fish. And the man suggested they try fishing in a secret spot he knew about. As they cast their nets in the hidden cove, the man said, ""Mr. Wong, I have a secret to tell. I am an evil man."" ""Oh? Why is that?"" asked Lee. ""Because, I have a pet sea monster. And I feed people to it. Just like you!"" And with that, he pushed Mr. Wong over the side of the boat. But Lee managed to grab th…

What do you call a pre-maturely born Chinese boy? Sudden Lee

A Chinese family moved into my neighborhood when I was in high school... They had a pair of twins, named Ving and Ling, who were my age. I liked Ving, but his sister Ling was kind of a bitch. Eventually, Ling told me that he hated his name, and he wanted to change it. I asked him, ""What do you want to change your name to?"" and he said ""Lee. You know, like Bruce Lee?"" Ling overheard, and chimed in, saying that their father would disown him if he changed his name. One day, Ving decided he had …

What do you call a parent named Lee? Apparently

Lee Sin goes into a bar... the chairs, tables and the barmaid.

Lee was born without legs, but he was incredibly determined to finish the triathlon. Slow Lee but sure Lee.

What do call an Asian person who sucks at jokes ? Obvious-lee

What do you call a spontaneous man named Lee? spontaneously

Ling and Ving move to America Once upon a time, a little Asian family moved into America. It was a father and his two children, his daughter Ling and son Ving. They were quite unadjusted to the American lifestyle, but eventually they settled in. One day, Ving told Ling that he didn't like his name anymore because it was weird and he got bullied for it. He wanted to change it to 'Lee' like Bruce Lee. But his sister told him that he can't do it for it'd be blasphemous to his father and his entire …

I have an asian friend who always points out the obvious things I call him obvious lee

Loyal Guards Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, ""Ivan, jump down."" Ivan replied in tears, ""Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."" Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out. Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee starte…

There is guy who knows most of secrets of the World That guy name is Mister-Lee [Mystery]

Archibal Assoulshot's first day at school This is a verbal joke, best told/read out loud. It's Archibald Assoulshot's first day of school. The teacher says: ""Now class, I want you all to welcome Archibald to the class. Archibald, will you stand up, say your name for the class, and spell it?"" Archibald stands up and says ""Yes ma'am I can do that. Archibald Assoulshot, A-r-c-h-i-b-a-l-d A-s-s-o-u-l-s-h-o-t"" The teacher says ""Very good, Archibald! But that's not how we spell our name here. Wil…

You look like my Asian friend from school. Yeah his name was Ug-lee!

Two friends were hunting in the woods one day... When they stumbled upon a giant, gaping hole. They were confused because they had been in that part of the woods several times, and they'd never seen it before. ""Damn. How deep do ya s'pose it is?"" one asks. ""Couldn't say..."" Says the other. ""Hey, hows about we drop something in n' find out?"" The two men look around for something to throw in. One finds a decent-sized tree branch, takes it to the hole, and drops it in. The two men listen clos…

This was a favorite of my deceased stepfather... A housewife is living in the inner-city during a crime wave and is concerned for her safety. She phones her husband, a travelling salesman, and lets her know that she's so scared she wants to purchase a guard dog. The husband agrees that it would be a great idea and she makes plans to go to the pet shop the next day. She arrives at the shop. ""Do you have any guard dogs?"" ""Lady, this is the biggest crime wave we've ever had. Everyone for miles i…

Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: ""Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"" Me:""wait, whose the godfather?"" Sister: ""Sirius Black"" Took me a minute.

What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca and a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT (Not my joke, but I tell it every time a buzz needs killed.)

What do you call an Asian pothead? Tao Lee

Why is everyone picking on Jews? A comedian was going into his favourite joke, ""One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to..."" when a heckler from the audience interrupted. ""Moskowitz and Finkelstein! why does it always have to be two Jews? Can't you tell a joke with any other nationalities involved!? Why don't you make them Chinese for a change?"" The comedian rejoined, ""I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. How about this: One day, Lee Ho and Mao Chen were on their way to the synagogue…

Daffy-nition for indefinitely... .... ... Indefinitely (adv.) In def in it lee .... .... .... When your balls are slapping up against her ass you're in definitely!