#lesson

The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side.

Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.

Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.

We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco.

My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.

Apparently, lifting your feet so she can reach underneath, Is NOT considered "helping her vacuum." Lesson learned, fellas. Lesson learned.

Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!

I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.

It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids.

I caught my son jerking off a wolf, so to teach him a lesson I made him stroke the whole pack.

"I know, right?!!" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned.

I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake.

Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm

Well, well, well... If it isn't the lesson I should've learned by now.

The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band

Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. Let that be a lesson... never try to fly a donkey.

Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.

Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."

Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is.

Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once.

Just learned an important lesson: When texting "wish you were here," that last e kind of makes it or breaks it.

I have a concrete strip on my front lawn painted to look like a slip n slide and every summer 10 to 15 kids learn a valuable lesson on it.

My ten year old made me pay him $10 to do the dishes, so I mugged him on his way to the bathroom because, you know, life lesson.

Lesson of the day: NEVER EVER make fun of an Asian woman on her period. On a related note: I got stabbed with a chopstick.